


Could You Be Mine

by hailynx



Series: Challenges, Events & Exchanges [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Afterlife, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Bodyswap, Breathplay, Choking, Comedy, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Ferryman, Fluff, Friendship, Future Fic, Genderswap, Height Differences, Humour, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Marriage, Musicians, Oisuga Week, One Night Stands, Platonic Relationships, Post-Break Up, Profanity, Reapers, Rivalry, Romance, Rule 63, Sexual Content, Smoking, Supernatural Elements, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:15:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3119858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailynx/pseuds/hailynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <a href="http://oisuga-week.tumblr.com/post/104956895084/hello-to-everyone-interested-in-an-oisuga-week-i">Oikawa/Sugawara Week 2015</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1: Winter | Late Night

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Haikyuu!!.  
> Please heed the warnings that will be tagged as the chapters are updated. Also note that I have chosen to omit certain warnings and possible triggers to avoid spoilers, so please read with caution.  
> Please do not translate or repost/reupload.

It’s hard to see the stars at night in Tokyo and harder when it’s so cold out. Although Koushi wishes to go and stargaze, the sky is dusty as it litters the road with a generous amount snow. There’s no way he’ll be able to endure that kind of cold for such a bland sight.

 

“I’ve got it, Kou-chan!”

 

Well, Tooru has found something to compensate that.

 

“Alright,” Koushi calls from the kitchen. “Be there in a sec.”

 

Koushi returns his attention on the task at hand. He fills the mugs with hot chocolate before setting the mugs onto the saucers. Then, he scoops the marshmallows and places it on the saucers. He makes sure that the marshmallow on Tooru’s saucer is pink to ensure that there isn’t any confusion. Securing the mugs on the dip of the saucers, Koushi picks both of them up and heads into their shared bedroom. However, before he even manages to take a step inside, Tooru approaches and takes one off of his hands.

 

“Thanks,” Tooru says, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

 

Tooru is bright as he leads Koushi inside. The mugs are placed their bedside table before they set off. Koushi goes to pull the window curtains close and Tooru turns off the lights so that the setting is right for the experience that they want. The two of them climb into their bed with practice but still cause odd dips here and there until they meet at the centre.

 

Everything that comes next is second nature. They take one job each respectively. Koushi adjusts the blanketing in the same way that he would if they were planning on reading late into the night. Tooru drops the marshmallows into their mugs, swapping the white and pink around before he hands Koushi his mug. He makes sure that he gives Koushi the correct mug, because a prank like this will end up being his lost. For Koushi, soy milk has become an acquired taste but Tooru still finds it hard to stomach the taste of full cream milk.

 

“Thank you,” Koushi replies, handing the machine’s controller over.

 

Tooru takes the controller and presses some random buttons to take it off sleep mode. He repeats the steps that he had done earlier and hopes that the machine works without problems. They’ve had a bit of an issue with it. Manuals were never his favourite thing. They had read it together earlier this week but it still hadn’t worked out well. Luckily, the familiar screen shows itself, indicating a proper reload.

 

Tooru sets the controller down and takes a quick sip of his warm drink and exhales happily. “Mm.”

 

“Hm,” Koushi comments as the liquid rolls down his tongue. “Did you put the pink marshmallow into my cup again?”

 

Tooru hugs the mug to his mouth and chuckles. Koushi says that the different colours help him to distinguish between the soy milk and the full cream milk but Tooru is certain that it’s an expression of love. Pink is a colour that expresses love. That’s the sole reason and so Tooru has returned it. Koushi tells him he’s just sappy and he doesn’t deny it.

 

“But it’s still okay, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Koushi says, eyes darting around the room. “Do we have to change any settings?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Tooru sets his cup back down to pick the controller again. “There’s a few, which one do you want to see?”

 

Koushi snickers, “The one that you can get working.”

 

Tooru pushes Koushi in attempt at revenge but Koushi only takes his brief moment of recovery as a chance to shift closer. It silences Tooru in an instant. He gets back to work, fiddling with the controller to change the setting to stars as they’ve planned for the night. Today the machine is co-operative and is quick to shift gears. It provides a brilliant transformation for their room as the lights shift. The shade of darkness that they created earlier is punctuated with an array of different coloured lights, mimicking their real night sky. Soon enough, the sight settles and Koushi sinks into the scenery, content.

 

There is a peaceful and easy silence as the flickering light continues to dance upon their ceiling. From then, it only becomes comfortable. This is something that Tooru has grown to appreciate. Although he’s known for being loud, it’s possible to be quiet when he’s with Koushi. There isn’t any need to validate anything through his usual declarations of war. (Though if it’s volleyball, it’s another story.) The need for a front has long crumbled at Koushi’s feet.

 

“Thank you,” Koushi says, smiling against Tooru’s clavicle. “This is nice.”

 

Tooru returns the kisses to the top of Koushi’s head and remains silent as they watch their transformed ceiling. The moment that their empty mugs are set aside, Koushi nuzzles further into Tooru’s space. Tooru accommodates easily. He opens his arms and allows Koushi to slot their bodies together before he wraps his arms around his boyfriend and rests his chin atop of his head. They’re comfortable like this, like always.

 

When the two hour of the planetarium’s set up is complete, Tooru attempts to start it again so that he doesn’t startle Koushi. However, just as he reaches out for the controller, Koushi’s whole body topples over and Tooru has to stop to catch him. It worries him a little so he reaches over to feel for a pulse and regular breathing before sighing in relief when they both seem to be normal. He’s picked up a few things from Koushi and can apply them. Koushi should be proud.

 

“Kou-chan…?” Tooru whispers, testing waters. Unconsciously, Koushi crawls closer and hugs him. Tooru cannot stop the smile that pulls straight across his face as he looks down at Koushi’s soft sleeping features. It takes him a while to kick the trance but when he does, he kisses Koushi’s forehead and tucks him in. It’s been a long week for them both. “Goodnight.”

 

_Fin._


	2. Day 2: Clothing Swap | University

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a nsfw chapter and contains descriptions of asphyxiation and sex under the influence of alcohol.

His head is a throbbing mess when he wakes up and it comes back rather easily. The cause of the pain is clear. One too many drinks. He’s been doing that frequently so it doesn’t surprise him that he feels like crap. It’s actually a little disheartening that he feels he can deal with it as if it is normal. Getting used to hangovers isn’t something on his to do list at university. There’s a minute surprise that comes once he manages to compose himself. So, he doesn’t usually sleep naked, but having enough booze to knock him out? That makes it possible. It makes everything possible actually.

 

Still, the real surprise is the shuffling right next to him. He jerks his whole body around and spots brown hair that may or may not be familiar. He’s banking on the latter, dear lord [yatagarasu](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-legged_crow), please let it be the latter. Sugawara lets out a silent scream as he rolls off the bed and pulls the thick layer of blanketing with him. He lands with a thud that sends his joints cringing in pain but is quick to get up—another mistake, Sugawara discovers when he drops his eyes back onto the exposed mattress. On the bed, there’s a body, all smooth skin and sweet curves lined for him to see. However, there’s also a layer of distracting wine red all over that canvas.

 

He tries not to look but there’s no escaping it. The brief look had reminded him, clear as day. _I did that_. Sugawara shakes his head almost violently to rid his mind of the replays, but gives up when he knows the efforts are futile. Instead, he takes deep breathes to calm himself so that he can go. It’s morning and there’s practice. He’s not a senior in high school anymore so there’s no easy way out. However, the moment that he moves his body he has to stop. There’s a lingering pain at his hips and his ass. It’s another sore reminder and Sugawara can’t ignore it this time.

 

His senses are picking up the cues that have been left behind, in his surroundings and on his skin. The memory is all too clear and reiterates to him how good it had been. There are now phantom touches as a reminder and he cannot deny the way his body had relished the experience. It comes back so clearly, he’s certain that he had been sober at the time. There had been alcohol in his system but the choice to go through with it was definitely a rational one. Even if he denies it, he _knows_ who’s on that bed.

 

“Fuck,” he cries, slapping his hand to his face. “You’ve screwed up big time, Koushi.”

 

When his senses sink back in, Sugawara begins to move on a more logical path, without the panic. Begrudgingly he throws the blanket over the body to cover it up again, as if he were getting rid of evidence. As much as he’d like to stay to sort things out, it’s just not the right time. Legal age gives him leeway to many things but responsibility likes to tag along. He categorises the current situation under another umbrella and locks it away. If he can avoid it, he will.

 

Tossing the rest of his life’s happiness away with a sigh, Sugawara wills himself to move. He stands up straight and attempts to search for his clothing only to catch a sight of himself in the mirror. Yeah, he looks a bit messed up and that’s normal for the activities that he had engaged in last night—give for the lingering marks on his neck. They’re a deep purple and they’re not scattered like love bites. No, they’re marks left behind by slender fingers, gripping tight to deprive him of air.

 

That particular image hadn’t come before but now the memory run wildly and socks him square in the libido. He remembers running his eyes up the lines of his partner’s arm to meet desperate hazelnut eyes. His voice and breath were stuck in his throat, but what he felt at that moment most definitely wasn’t fear. _Fuck_. He can feel it all over his skin, hot and heavy. He can hear the whimpers echoed with each shallow thrust and clench of fingers around his neck. The sensation remains and is heightened now that he’s completely aware of it. Sugawara’s breath gets caught and another thought crosses his mind before he can stop it.

 

_Did he choke me or did I ask him to?_

 

Sugawara drops his head in shame and then shakes the thought away. Enduring the pain jabbing at his lower half, Sugawara gets to his feet and blindly reaches for the nearest pieces of clothing. Now that he’s recollected everything, there’s no time for a shower. He needs to leave. Sugawara slips into every piece with difficulty. He trips over every few steps but manages with will, to dress himself in record time. The last thing he does is zip the jacket up, all the way up his neck and then rushes right out of the door. The clerk that he meets on the way gives him an odd look that he replies with an awkward smile before he rushes out of the revolving doors. The one that shared his bed can manage the bill for last night.

 

As he stands in front of station, Sugawara sticks his hands into his right pocket to fish for the travel pass only to find a phone stashed in there instead. Frowning, because his travel pass should be there, he switches and tries the left. Thankfully, the pass is there as needed and he taps on in a rush to make it to the next train for training. On the train, Sugawara ignores the presence of humanity and steals an empty seat so that he can catch a moment of proper sleep.

 

It’s not a complete state of sleep because he’s aware and irritated. He had zipped the jacket all the way up but the collar seems to be too loose. It slips and amidst his light napping, Sugawara has to constantly reach out and pull it back up. It makes him feel a little more disoriented than he already is but Sugawara doesn’t have any time for that. In three stops he’ll have to get off and rush again to the gym for practice. He needs to get it together. He only shows up at the gym twenty minutes late, but apparently it’s a big thing. At the door, Daichi greets him with his arms folded.

 

Daichi frowns, concerned. “It’s unusual for you to be late without notice.”

 

He doesn’t comment on the family circumstances or bring up any possible issues. Daichi knows him well enough not to tread such dangerous grounds without permission. The look that he sports today though, is a cause for concern.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Sugawara replies, smiling just a little. He runs his fingers through his hair in attempt to get rid of any knots or the bed head look. This is a horrific start to the day. “I was… uh, occupied.”

 

Daichi stares. “I can tell.”

 

Sugawara straightens. “You can tell.”

 

Daichi frowns, running his eyes up and down Sugawara’s form as an indication. Sugawara returns Daichi’s gaze but with confusion. Daichi just shakes his head before giving in and pointing at Sugawara’s attire. When Sugawara finally looks down, his instant reaction is to slap is himself. He groans. It had felt too big. Aside from the loose collar, the pants also felt like they were dragging along the ground. He had thought that it had been a part of his imagination, still drunk and maybe hung over but the clothes are large on him. He wasn’t imagining that.

 

He gives Daichi a knowing look and when his friend turns to give him space, Sugawara tugs at the waistband of the pants and looks down. He stares hard for a long time before sighing in relief. By some miracle, he had managed to get that right. Still, before jumping into morning practice, he’ll need to settle this to avoid distractions.

 

“Urgh,” Sugawara groans. “I’ll be there in a few...”

 

He reaches into his—no, the stranger’s _right_ pocket and pulls out the phone. The changes weren’t a part of his misguided imagination. This is the absolute worst because he already knows who will be picking up. As much as he tried to deny it, he knew those brown locks and those intense eyes that had locked onto his. Daichi just looks amused as he punches in his number and waits for the person in possession of _his_ phone to pick up. It seems to ring on for forever until a cheery voice answers the phone.

 

_“Morning!”_

 

“Good morning,” Sugawara says cordially into the receiver, despite feeling quite like crap. “Um…”

 

For someone who had still been sleeping when he’d left, the man on the line sounds wide awake. The voice that greets him is recognisable and he fights a losing battle to keep the man’s smiling face from surfacing on his mind. Even at this moment he’s full of cheer but Sugawara does not wish to collect his possessions in person. Sugawara swallows the stammer as he tries to get out of a face to face meeting. It’s ridiculous, he knows but it’s worth trying. He could always _mail_ the items. That’s what the post office is for!

 

_“My, Suga-chan! Even if you don’t need your wallet back, I need mine.”_

 

“Wallet. Right, of course,” Sugawara grits his teeth, annoyed. He had hoped that he’d be forgotten but there’s an identification card in there. He’s so screwed—metaphorically this time. And wait, now that he thinks about it, the hotel money had come out of _his_ pocket. “Of course. We have to do something about that.”

 

_“When will you be free?”_

 

He sounds like he’s politely asking for a date.

 

Sugawara frowns, “I’ll message you a time and place.”

 

He hangs up the phone and enters the gym to join in with the team’s practice regimen. If Sugawara’s odd, the team doesn’t say anything. They simply watch with appreciation as he works the spikes with everything that he has. Daichi scowls. He waits like a predator, preparing for action just in case Sugawara overheats because of his refusal to change into appropriate jersey attire.

 

_Fin._


	3. Day 3: Outer Space | Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention of asphyxiation in this chapter.  
> Additionally, there are two songs recommended for this update, Nell's Grey Zone and Tablo's cover of Eyes, Nose, Lips.

Sugawara’s invitation is like new. He hasn’t touched it since he got it but now he presents it at the reception and feels a little hesitant to let it go. After a mental battle in which the brain wins over the heart, Sugawara hands it over. He gets his name ticked off and leaves his gift at the table before entering. As soon as he’s through the doors, the couple is there to greet him. There’s no time to escape.

 

“Ah,” he’s quick to react. “Congratulations!”

 

“Suga-chan!” Oikawa beams at him. “I thought you weren’t going to show.”

 

Sugawara looks at him with an equally bright smile but it’s too awkward for hugs so they end up shaking hands instead. There’s a squeeze in Oikawa’s grip. It’s tight and almost suffocating, as if there’s something he has to say but Sugawara ignores it. He greets her next, with a slight bow and finds that she is even more stunning up close. If they’ve tied the knot then she’s probably the kind that can hold her ground as well as his. Sugawara has no complaints and knows well, that it is not his place.

 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Sugawara replies.

 

There’s a tinge of affection there, but it’s more so because this is another challenge to himself. Ever since Kageyama came along, Sugawara had forced himself to face his fears. He has stepped up and found it in himself to be assertive. This is nothing. Like his favourite book, he has learnt Oikawa inside and out. Oikawa is easy to deal with if one knows how. The question is on whether or not he needs to.

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Oikawa announces, smiling.

 

“Sorry for being late in the morning,” Sugawara apologises in return. “Traffic was bad.”

 

“It’s fine,” Oikawa replies almost dismissively. “Oh, you haven’t met before. Miki-chan, Suga-chan. Suga-chan, Miki-chan.”

 

He shakes her hand as required, studying her from head to toe out of reflex then he stops. Sugawara locks his eyes on the smooth expanse of skin that displays her neck and feels his breath hitch. It’s pale and clean, like porcelain. Not a mark to mar it. Something that he’s hidden deep within begins to stir. Now that he’s entertained the thought, a phantom touch lingers on his skin. It’s a memory of something that feels like just yesterday and it’s bruising to claim. Oikawa had reminded him of it one too many times. And another thought drops by, vicious and unnecessary, _does he choke you too?_

 

“No,” Sugawara jerks, dropping the thought like a hot potato. “I should have left earlier.”

 

The couple shake their heads together and so in synch it’s cute. Then she speaks on behalf of her husband, thanking him for gracing them with his presence because he’s an important person in Oikawa’s life. That gets Sugawara thinking and he forces a smile. He knows that Oikawa can’t shut up for his life but to think that he’d be a constant topic. It makes him feel like he needs to fix the situation.

 

“He says that about every one of his friends doesn’t he?”

 

She giggles into her hand, “Yes, but I think that you and Iwaizumi-san are the primary victim. Oh, there’s Kageyama-kun as well.”

 

Oikawa turns away, sheepish. Sugawara doesn’t manage to hold back the chuckle. Of course Kageyama will be an ongoing part of Oikawa’s life. He supposes that Hinata gets a mention every now and then too. Despite the difference in years, they ended up playing each in university matches. Those two must have sneezed a lot in the past few years. Hinata may have shivered. From what he’s seen over the years, Hinata is still shy in front of intimidating figures from his past unless he’s on court where his weapons lie.

 

They’re at a standstill when she looks around him and frowns. Sugawara steps backwards, thinking that she shouldn’t be frowning. He shouldn’t be making her frown. It’s a special day and no matter what, she shouldn’t be upset, much less in regards to _Sugawara_. It makes him feel guilty, even when he’s done nothing wrong. He worries on his lips and waits for it. He squeezes his fear and only releases it when she looks at him kindly again.

 

“You’re by yourself today, Sugawara-san?”

 

Sugawara lets the air caught up in his chest go and smiles without a single fault to the world. On the RSVP card that he had sent back, he had indicated that he would be bringing along another person. Unfortunately, his plans have been foiled and so he’s here alone. He’s prepared for the question. Actually, he’s always been prepped for it. His only hope is that he doesn’t have to answer.

 

“There was a bit of an emergency at work so,” Sugawara smiles, charmingly. “I’m here by myself.”

 

Oikawa turns his frown upside down, grinning bright and waves his hands in the direction of the guests. There’s no doubt that Sugawara knows more than half the people here. There’s also Takeru, who is still fond of him. It might actually be a problem, but he’s grown up a lot since then so they may not even recognise each other.

 

“It’s a good chance to catch up,” Oikawa tells him. “It’s hard to gather everyone in one place these days.”

 

Sugawara laughs, “Your wedding managed it.”

 

“Weddings are probably the only thing at this point,” Oikawa nods in acknowledgement. “I wonder who’s next.”

 

He’s jabbing on purpose. This is a familiar conversation, one that they’ve had before. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago. Late in their university days, they had already seen this outcome. Everyone had become so busy, even a moment for match of volleyball had been hard to get. When everyone joined the workforce, whether it was professional sport or something taken out of their degree, it was harder to even find the time to meet. Sugawara had said that a wedding would do it. At that moment he didn’t think that it’d be Oikawa’s but the world works in the most interesting ways.

 

“You’re not holding a betting pool over this are you?”

 

Oikawa denies it immediately, waving a hand, “Of course not!”

 

He laughs to follow and his eyes—where most of his expressions lie—disappear into crescents. There’s a hint of mischievousness that cannot be overlooked, even though Sugawara’s no longer trying to find it. Sugawara’s lips pull into a thin line. So now he’s implanted an idea. He shouldn’t have done that.

 

“I won’t do anything stupid, Suga-chan,” Oikawa says, reading him easy.

 

Sugawara shakes his head but says no more on the matter. It will get out of hand if they can’t help it. They chat for a few more minutes and Sugawara makes sure to relay his most sincere congratulations again because he _does_ mean it. Oikawa just grins. He doesn’t do anything that Sugawara expects him to, which is a bit of a surprise. Then they part ways when several other guests start entering. It’s family, so they excuse themselves and promise to talk again later. Sugawara nods in agreement, but knows that if it happens, it’ll be brief. There are too many people at the wedding to distribute time evenly.

 

He slips away to the table he’d been assigned and joins the others, taking a comfortable seat in a circle of friends that he knows well. They’re all chatting amongst themselves and he sits to listen. Hinata and Kageyama are still bickering as usual, but Kageyama seems to have matured—that being, picking up another word to insult other than ‘dumbass’. Their banter mellow and it’s easy to see that there’s an amiable friendship underneath it all.

 

When they note his presence, Sugawara socialises easy. He gets along with everyone, old friends and new. As Oikawa had said, the event is tailored for a well rounded catch up session. He gets to hear all the news from each of his friends directly. Sugawara confirms what he has heard and congratulates them personally for their achievements. Halfway through the night, they have an intermission and the newly wedded couple take the dance floor. Everyone gets up to join the fun. It’s a celebration after all.

 

Sugawara stands back and watches fondly. The boy next to him starts a conversation which he joins purely for distraction. It takes a while to recognise Takeru but once they manage to make the connection it’s easy. Takeru throws himself at Sugawara and steals a long hug before he pulls away, grinning like the child he once was. He continues speaking vibrantly, asking all the questions he can think of. Most of them revolve around volleyball, which is sweet, considering that he’s all grown up but hasn’t forgotten.

 

“Sugawara-san,” the boy says, grinning all gummy like when the music changes. Takeru wears a stunning smile and Sugawara allows himself to be charmed. “Honour me with a dance?”

 

He snorts. “What has Tooru been teaching you?”

 

Takeru just smiles with his hand outstretched. Sugawara allows Takeru to pull him onto the dance floor because it’s easier to participate this way. In the centre, they meet the newlyweds with smiles, though it almost feels half hearted. However, there’s no time to investigate. The music carries on and Takeru continues the conversation as he pulls Sugawara along with his steps. The beat is slow and the steps are easy to follow but Sugawara’s mind is set on a single dance only.

 

After it, he excuses himself and slips away to the balcony. He’s no longer swift enough to keep up on the dance floor with those that are younger. It’s difficult with Takeru because not only is he fond, he is also full of positive energy. Sighing in relief for the moment of freedom, Sugawara turns away from the festivities and looks out at the sight provided by the height boost.

 

He inhales and exhales at his practiced pace but stops when it doesn’t help. There’s another alternative. It’s one that hurts but Sugawara’s feeling at the end of his rope. Sighing, he runs his fingers through his pocket for the packet that he keeps close and flips it open. Sugawara pulls out the lighter along with one of the cheap brand smokes and fits it between his lips before lighting it on fire. The first inhale warms him and the exhale relaxes his body.

 

He’s halfway through his cigarette when the best man joins him on the balcony. Their greeting at the ceremony had been brief but it looks like Iwaizumi has a few things to say. Sugawara politely opens up his box of smokes and offers one. They’ve been in touch, but meeting was rare, so Iwaizumi’s lifestyle and habits are unknown to him. Iwaizumi looks at it tentatively before he takes one. Sugawara is only being polite. It’s one of his strongest traits. Iwaizumi nods with gratitude and guides his fingers to the corner of the box to borrow the light that’s tucked away.

 

“I didn’t think you’d show,” Iwaizumi says, sticking the cancer stick between his lips.

 

Sugawara chuckles, “Would he have gotten any peace of mind if I hadn’t?”

 

Iwaizumi stays silent and lets the answer float between them unsaid. He doesn’t need to confirm that statement. The truth can be found with a single sweep of hand over their dusty cover. Even if they don’t say it, there’s no doubt that Oikawa had had a pinch of hope for the table to turn when he decided to invite Sugawara. And of course, the rest of him in Sugawara’s invitation is pure spite. However, if it can be ignored then they will both do so, pretending that there’s nothing bitter underneath.

 

“You missed the timing anyway,” Iwaizumi replies.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Sugawara inhales and then exhales, “I had no objections to begin with.”

 

Iwaizumi refuses to bite the bait for silence. Honestly, a part of him hates Sugawara for leaving Oikawa broken, but a larger part of him understands that their lifestyle had become unhealthy. Oikawa can’t change and Sugawara didn’t need him to. It just got to a point where enough was enough and the excess of efforts meant the end of the road.

 

“I thought… you’d come back and work it out, you know?”

 

Sugawara finds his lips twisted into a smile even though it’s not a very fond memory. After that? Sugawara would like to deny it, but he can’t. He had stepped back, almost ready to give Oikawa a hard time before accepting his apology, but he couldn’t do it. Just before knocking on that door, something inside him broke and fear seized his body. How many times? How many more? It had been one too many and Sugawara pushed the responsibility onto Iwaizumi. That was the last bit of his affection, leaving Oikawa in the hands of someone who he had known for years and wouldn’t abandon him.

 

“I’m sorry about that,” Sugawara apologises because he never did.

 

He is a little regretful about it. There’s no way that it was Iwaizumi’s fault but there was nothing that he knew better at that moment. Dumping Oikawa at Iwaizumi’s door at four in the morning probably wasn’t the best choice. Thinking about it now, it feels a little dramatic on his part, though he doesn’t think anything would have changed even if he had acted differently. Oikawa is sweet, but too sweet. He’s like poison.

 

“You should be,” Iwaizumi clicks his tongue, makes a face. “He was so pitiful the next day I couldn’t even say anything to embarrass him, even though he threw up all over himself.”

 

Sugawara fails to control the snort slipping out of his lips and so they both laugh about it together. It probably catches attention because amidst the dance, Oikawa pauses and stares at them. His eyes are sharp and piercing when he runs them across Sugawara. He looks curious, so they both exchange a glance before they lift their hands and wave in unison. There’s a question surfacing on his face but they miss it as the sound of music carries the couple away.

 

“That’s probably a sight.”

 

And he’s really sorry about it this time. A drunken Oikawa is hard to deal with and he’s come to learn that no matter how close one becomes with him, it’s still an annoying task. The memory is still sickeningly vivid. It doesn’t help that there’s loud music accompanied by the smell of alcohol that fills the air tonight. It sets the scene, reminding Sugawara of how he had found Oikawa that night.

 

“He had too much pride,” Iwaizumi says, sighing. “Still does.”

 

Sugawara nods with a small chuckle of acknowledgement. The fact is still as clear as day. If he hadn’t, Sugawara wouldn’t have received that invitation in person. It had been like a declaration of war, no different than it had been from their high school days. The only difference is Sugawara already knows how to deal with it. Oikawa may have won that battle when he struck Sugawara with surprise, but being here and managing a smile deems Sugawara the winner of the war.

 

“She’s good for him.”

 

He watches them dance, watches how Oikawa can almost fall at her feet and smiles. It’s a pretty sight. Oikawa fixes her hair. He brushes his fingers through the strands, only to have her mess it up again with a little shake. He pouts but she takes none of it. She threads her fingers through his and pulls him along to the beat, distracting him from trying again.

 

“She is,” Sugawara agrees.

 

Iwaizumi keeps his own statement on Sugawara’s relationship with Oikawa a thing of the past. They both know but it doesn’t need to be a reminder tonight. Sugawara may have been good for Oikawa, but it doesn’t mean that Oikawa was good for him in return. Some things in life just don’t work like that. Still, he has to wonder how it will turn out if they had worked at it. They could have thrown away a little bit of their pride for something that could have been an artwork. There’s always room for mistakes. If it had been the two of them, they’d have the artistic license to bullshit their way out of those blurred lines and sour colours.

 

“Are you really okay with this?”

 

Sugawara turns to Iwaizumi with a grin. He’s certain. “I came to terms with it.”

 

Drunk texts and misplaced letters. They had come but Sugawara couldn’t bring himself to return any of those. He’s seen all that he needs to see. There was no room left for error. Maybe Oikawa doesn’t quite fit into the category of err but Sugawara needed to distance himself from the possibility. He went far and beyond. It had taken time but he had managed it. Sugawara can say it now without a single doubt. If he couldn’t, he wouldn’t have shown. Iwaizumi stares him down for the truth and is knocked down with defeat. It looks like the only heart chipped tonight is Oikawa’s.

 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, day 2 is the beginning and day 3 is the end. There's a bunch of dorky courting going on in between but.


	4. Day 4: Music | Pinning

_“It’d be Sugawara-sempai.”_

 

 

 

 

 

It’s something she said months ago but it’s given her a lot of trouble. There have been a whole bunch of questions directed her way and it’s hard to run. She has a habit of coating honey around her words. Sometimes it’s helpful, but at most others it ends up being a mistake. Oikawa didn’t think that one little comment about collaboration would blow up this much. The anticipation is ridiculous but there’s no escape now. No matter what show it is that she’s on, there’s a question about a collaboration that she had said she _wishes_ she could do, not _plans_ to do.

 

It hasn’t been easy on any of her staff, her manager in particular. Oikawa doesn’t mind. His torment is worth the entertainment now that her activities have been restricted. Kunimi has nothing to say and only manages to sigh in a resigned manner. Oikawa knows that she’s put him in a tight spot but she adds to the problem by whining in the face of his distress because it’s fun to watch him struggle.

 

“Kunimi-chan!” Oikawa sing songs, kicking her feet back and forth. “Kunimi-chan!”

 

“I’ll try and arrange a meeting,” Kunimi says, ignoring her as he drops his head. “Honestly! Why did you have to go and say something like that?”

 

“Well,” Oikawa puffs her cheeks up and pouts. “They asked me a question!”

 

Matsun frowns and turns her head back around. He twirls Oikawa’s brown locks around the iron to create soft, loose curls for her usual gentle look. Oikawa pouts, cheeks puffed up but she doesn’t get away without a scolding.

 

“Keep still,” he reprimands, letting the curls fall and starting again.

 

Makki-chan nods along, dabbing Oikawa’s face with finishing powder, “You’re so troublesome.”

 

Oikawa opens her mouth to sing and jerks in her seat to spite them. Kunimi gives Oikawa a look; _you lie on a daily basis_. He’s trying hard to imitate Iwaizumi’s glare but falls short. Kunimi’s always been a bit laid back because Oikawa’s never gotten into trouble before. Well, she has, but it’s nothing that they couldn’t handle. This however, is a completely different story. The mismatch between the two of them is too big. They must find it hard to imagine success. Oikawa breaks into laughter just thinking about it. Makki-chan pinches her nose and tells her to shut up. Oikawa crosses her legs and turns away, throwing a silent tantrum.

 

“Of all the people you could have chosen from,” Kunimi continues, near hysterical, which is quite the sight because Kunimi is usually low key, the energy conserving type. “You had to go and choose Sugawara Kou.”

 

“She’s hot,” Oikawa replies at the chance and grins. “I’ve seen her. _You’ve_ seen her.”

 

Matsun says something almost spiteful about Sugawara’s hairstylist. Whoever it is, they always manages to keep Sugawara’s silvery hair nice and smooth. Oikawa ignores him in favour of watching Kunimi squirm. Who will save him from this undeniable truth? Kunimi’s personal feelings on the matter have never been voiced, but Oikawa has a hunch that Kunimi is a much bigger fan than he likes to let on. Oikawa doesn’t mind because she doesn’t consider Sugawara to be a rival. They’re different. They’re not playing on the same ground so it’s understandable. So long as Oikawa remains the number one ballad artist in Kunimi’s life, she doesn’t care who else holds a fraction of his heart.

 

“Right,” Iwaizumi deadpans as he enters. He knocks her head lightly in reprimand. Matsun clicks his tongue but doesn’t stay a word because Oikawa’s hair falls right into place like it hadn’t been tampered with at all. “You’re a ballad singer. What are you thinking saying that you wanted do a collab with a husky voiced rock star?”

 

Oikawa pouts, lips jutted out but to no avail. It’s hard to win against Iwaizumi, who knows exactly what to say to pop her bubble of joy. He has a point. There’s no way the two images mix. Oikawa’s a ballad singer with an image built by the company. That’s not who she is but for the sake of her career, they’ve asked her to fix a few things. She plays the innocent and sweet girl on screen because the nation has expectations. It’s a complete and utter lie because she’s anything _but_.

 

“Hey!” Oikawa frowns. She throws her hair clips in Iwaizumi’s direction, only to hit Kindaichi who has come with a cream one piece dress for her only stage of the day. “I have a voice for rock too.”

 

Iwaizumi turns away, snorting. Oikawa turns towards Kunimi to stares him down, but finds that he’s wearing his thinking cap. It’s likely that he’s considering auto tune if she’s insists on going through with this collaboration.

 

 

 

 

 

After two long weeks of choppy discussions over the phone, Kunimi and Sugawara’s manager finally settle on a time to meet. They need to see if the two will be compatible. If they are, the mini could be considered and perhaps, it’d be a success. However, because of conflicting schedules, Sugawara had agreed to meet Oikawa at her company. They agree on five that day because she will be passing by. It won’t be any trouble, they had stressed. Oikawa wonders about that, but if they’re offering to come to her, she’ll take it.

 

“They’re late!” Oikawa whines, kicking her feet. “Late, Kunimi-chan! Late!”

 

“She’s probably caught up in traffic,” Kunimi sighs, resigned. Sometimes, he doesn’t know _why_ he’s the manager and not Iwaizumi. “You know, how you also get caught up in traffic?”

 

Oikawa turns away, huffing with distaste as if she’s been greatly wronged. She feels it, but can tell that her staffs don’t quite agree. They always disagree.

 

“Iwa-chan’s not joining us?”

 

“No…” Kunimi replies. “He’s—”

 

There’s a knock on the door that put a stop to Kunimi’s words. He waves a dismissive hand and goes to answer because Oikawa is busy checking her appearance in the mirror. She’s the nation’s angel; a ballad singer with strong piano skills and a completely sweet demeanour to boot. There are people that she lets her guard down around but everyone else needs to be fooled. It’s her selling point so the secret needs to be kept under wraps. Kunimi reminds her this every day.

 

“Azumane Asahi,” a sweet voice introduces, “I’m Suga’s manager.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Kunimi’s voice is bright (or as bright as it can ever be). “I’m Oikawa’s manager. Please, come in.”

 

Oikawa turns and finds them shaking hands and her eyes blow up wide at the sight of the woman taller than herself coming in. She’s in appropriate manager attire, blue dress shirt tucked into her pencil skirt. However, she blocks everything in her way and has to fold herself to fit through the door frame. She looks intimidating, with the stiff face but her clothes are tailored to a perfect fit and her brown hair looks to be naturally wavy. Somehow, it suits the image that she has of Sugawara but the said singer is nowhere to be seen. Oikawa strains her neck to search. Her eyes dart around and she dismisses everyone that doesn’t match the image that is stuck in her head.

 

It’s not likely, from what she’s heard, but is it possible that Sugawara is skipping out on work? If she’s sent her manager for the discussion Oikawa will not take to it lightly. Sure, Sugawara’s been in the industry a year longer, but that doesn’t mean she can be negligent. Although deep in thought, she notes the hovering figure beginning to grate on her nerves. When Oikawa finally looks up, there’s a face close to hers. It’s a proximity that she likes to use to tease others, so she jerks back when she finds it applied to her. Annoyance blooms on her face and the girl takes the cue to pull away. Her features are soft and she looks satisfied now that she has Oikawa’s attention. She extends her hand, smiling.

 

“Oikawa Tooru-chan,” the stranger says, smiling. Her voice flows like a water fall, like one of Oikawa’s melodies. Oikawa blinks confused, but cannot take her eyes away from the girl that appears so incredibly cute in front of her. Her hand is small, skin pale and soft. “It’s such an honour to finally meet you. I’m a fan.”

 

Okay, screw the fact that she said _Tooru-chan_ for a moment. (Everyone’s a fan so the following sentence means nought.)

 

Oikawa stares, doesn’t bother lifting her hand. “Who’re you?”

 

She giggles into her tiny, tiny little hands and Oikawa’s heart flutters. How can she be this cute? And she’s even cuter when her fingers swiftly curve to tuck loose strands of soft, silvery hair behind her ear. Oikawa’s heart throbs traitorously and her mouth runs dry, putting cracks into her mask.

 

“Sugawara Kou.”

 

Oikawa looks at her, lips quivering as she tries to hold back a huff of disbelief.

 

“I really am,” Sugawara insists, eyes twinkling as she pulls another broad smile across her lips. “Am I hard to recognise without all the makeup?”

 

 _Yes_ , Oikawa screams in her head, _yes_. This can’t be. She’s seen Sugawara before. They haven’t interacted but they have passed by each other backstage and Oikawa is proud of her infallible memory. This is impossible. The image that Oikawa has of Sugawara is hot. Smouldering hot. She’s usually more put together than this. This image of Sugawara is soft and sweet. Every single thing about her is gentle, from hair to clothes and even gestures. Instead of fire she’s water. And she’s cute. She’s not meant to be cute, that’s Oikawa’s image!

 

Sugawara’s smile is usually seductive. Her lips are often a dark purple and the heavily applied black eyeliner makes her eyes smoky and alluring. The punk rock image that she’s built for her career hasn’t ever faltered. Every piece of clothing that she wears screams it. The black leather shorts and a skull tee half covered by another leather jacket she usually wears accentuate every curve of her body. Occasionally, she’ll sport five inch knee high boots that elongates her pale legs and thighs. Those are the days where Oikawa’s imagination goes a bit over the top but not to today. Not this.

 

There’s no denying that she’s cute today. She’s still hot but it’s so different Oikawa doesn’t manage to wrap her head around it. Sugawara is not decked out in black nor is she wearing any skin tight clothing. Instead, she’s in wash jeans and a simple tee that makes her look like a normal citizen. She’s got no makeup on her face and it brings out the colours in her features. It’s the contrast of the dark makeup that she usually dons but it makes such a huge difference. Oikawa cannot believe that it’s the same person.

 

Speaking of makeup, now that she’s not wearing any, Oikawa can see the beauty mark at the corner of her eye. Oikawa stares and is drawn in. It pulls her attention to the precious gems that sparkle at the corners with each smile. When Sugawara’s eyes are open with a firm gaze it is clear, like water. It feels like defeat, because _this_ is the image that Oikawa’s built up and here Sugawara is, sporting it effortlessly.

 

“Ku-Kunimi-chan,” Oikawa ignores her new guests and turns to her manager, hissing. She’s not trying to be discreet at all. “Is this really _her_?”

 

Kunimi’s lips tug into a smirk, “Yes, that’s her, _Tooru-chan_.”

 

“What,” Oikawa barks, nearly falling off her chair when she swerves to look again. “You’re kidding!”

 

Sugawara laughs, each ringing sound reminding Oikawa of wind chimes. It’s pleasant and peaceful. It also reminds her of home. Her mother likes to keep them in the yard during winter. It’s like a song of its own and today, Oikawa finally understands.

 

“Everyone reacts the same way. I never get tired of it. Isn’t it fun, Asahi?”

 

Oikawa blinks. First name basis. There’s another surprise in the mix. Answering to Sugawara, Azumane is sweet and kind. Her laughter a bit deeper than Oikawa expects but it’s a soothing sound. The rough edges that Oikawa had sensed before evens out and her smile is, admittedly, cute. They speak like best friends. There is no tension or sense of authority. Oikawa looks on with eyes blown wide and mouth agape. _Really?_ She gets along well with her manager as well? What kind of angel is this?

 

“Sorry about this,” Kunimi says, putting plastic cups of tea down on the table between them. “We can start the discussion without her. She’ll join us once she’s ready.”

 

Sugawara laughs into her hands again and the strands of hair that she had pushed back, falls over her face again. Oikawa has an urge to card her fingers through it, but Sugawara is quick to dispel her desire. She pulls it all together and ties it into a side pony tail, sitting it on her right shoulder. She’s still so soft, no matter what it is that she does. Oikawa can stare for forever, but Kunimi kick starts the discussion and so she tunes into it. If there are terms, she’ll need to hear it.

 

“Oikawa’s reckless words have caused you a lot of trouble,” Kunimi announces, with his lowered. “Please accept our apologies”

 

Sugawara dismisses Kunimi’s apologies, waving her hands in a panic. She asks him to lift his head up because she does not deserve that kind of apology. The little smile on her face and the bright laughter displays her forgiveness. He lifts his head up at her request and shies away from her vibrant features. She’s like the sun, but how can that be? That’s Oikawa’s role. Sugawara’s meant to be like stars or something. She can shine in darkness, like the venues that she often plays with her band. How dare she come here with the girl next door image to steal all those that stand by Oikawa’s side? This is fraud! (Oikawa will make sure to tell Makki-chan later, because he is the only one on her side, even though he’s just likes to play along).

 

“It’s really no problem,” Sugawara replies. “I think a collaboration will be interesting.”

 

“Really?”

 

Oikawa notes that Kunimi’s tone is full of disbelief but he doesn’t let it show on his face. It’d be bad for publicity if Sugawara rejects Oikawa. That much is common sense so Kunimi plays it safe as they had discussed. They don’t reply eagerly, because there is a high possibility that there will be terms and conditions. They may not be able to meet them. Oikawa’s not the most compatible star. Although she’s well loved, she can be difficult to work with, especially now that she’s found some animosity with Sugawara.

 

Azumane speaks up, “The director thinks that soft rock would be good grounds to start.”

 

“Bokuto-san?”

 

Kunimi’s eyes light up. Bokuto is well known in the industry for his endless positivity and his ability to bring out the best of his artists. But that’s only his enthusiasm if the information that they have is correct. On the other hand, information that Oikawa has elsewhere, tells her that the president may just want to meet her. It could be any other popular female artist in the industry for the matter. That’s a possibility though Oikawa doubts that Sugawara’s pride as an artist will allow herself to be used like that.

 

Azumane smiles, lips quivering and Sugawara chuckles into her hands again. There’s a constriction in Oikawa’s chest and she frowns. Oikawa decides that Sugawara has bad habits. Oikawa narrows her eyes and studies Sugawara’s movements. There’s something else that had been exchanged between the artist and her manager but without words, she cannot say for sure what it is. Still, Oikawa holds her silence on Sugawara’s company president and decides to leave her judgement for later. That’s not important right now.

 

“Yes,” Azumane nods. Her long wavy hair bounces along with each of her words. “Suga’s touched on soft rock before but she hasn’t done a full album on it. We believe this will be a good chance, for Oikawa-san as well.”

 

Kunimi lets the information sink in and hums his approval. If it’s soft rock, they may not need to resort to auto tune. Oikawa jabs him a little to be annoying, because she knows exactly what he’s thinking. However, it does make things a lot easier. This could be something that they can work on. Thorough discussions of their needs and expectations will make it possible.

 

“What do you think, Oikawa-san?” Azumane flashes a shy smile.

 

Oikawa looks at Azumane straight in the eye and doesn’t bother considering Kunimi. Despite what they say and what they deny, Oikawa’s staffs do fall for her charms. They indulge her whims and often let her be. This is nothing new to their routine but Sugawara’s accommodation makes everything a lot easier.

 

“Do you have samples on you?” Oikawa questions, her intentions sharp.

 

“I do,” Sugawara replies, no surprise in her tone.

 

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a full folder. It’s neat but she has to flip through a few clear pockets to get to the pages that she wants. Sugawara takes them out of the pocket and hands it over to Oikawa with _both_ hands. She’s gentle and there’s politeness instilled in every one of her actions. Now that’s irritating.

 

“Oikawa,” Kunimi says, distracting her. “Play nice.”

 

She gives him a little wink, “On it.”

 

Kunimi sighs inwardly. Oikawa turns back to the score in her hands and studies it. The beat is fun. The piece looks to be more RnB than soft rock but it’s probably a good start for the two of them. As much as she hates it, she’ll have to admit that Sugawara’s got good sense in music. Oikawa can already hear the tune drumming in her head and it’s damn catchy. This is the difference between the two of them. Oikawa sings heart wrenching ballads to bring her fans to tears. Sugawara gets people jumping to the beat and singing along to a catchy hook. Iwaizumi’s worries may be well warranted.

 

“Do you want to try singing it?” Sugawara suggests.

 

Oikawa considers this for a moment, “Why not?”

 

She looks down at the score and wonders if they’ll need a photocopy of it but Sugawara banishes the doubt with her soft speaking voice.

 

“It’s okay, I remember it.”

 

“Okay,” Oikawa replies, keeping the score between her fingers. “Is there a particular part you want to sing?”

 

“I don’t mind,” Sugawara tells her, giving way.

 

Oikawa looks down at the score again and flips it over. “The chorus, bridge and then the final verse, is that alright with you?”

 

Oikawa runs her fingers down the few staffs at the end and Sugawara nods in agreement. They carry a little discussion on the distribution of lines. As giving as Sugawara seems to be, she’s got her pride about her music. Where they disagree, they stop and decide that they’ll sing it together. What Sugawara does give, is the whole bridge, claiming that she’d like to hear Oikawa’s soft voice for it.

 

“May I borrow that?” Sugawara asks, pointing to the guitar sitting at the corner of Oikawa’s dressing room—wait, that’s not hers. Oikawa doesn’t play the guitar. “It’s Yuu-chan’s isn’t it?”

 

Oikawa lets her mouth drop a fraction before she sows her expression back together. It’s too late.

 

“We went to school together,” Sugawara explains, giggling as she gathers the fond memories. Now Oikawa _wants_ to know. “As the senior in the company, please look after her.”

 

“Sure,” Oikawa agrees too fast. She catches herself, wonders if she’s smitten and has a second to hate herself before she adds on, “I’m don’t think she’d mind.”

 

Oikawa doesn’t care if _Yuu-chan_ minds or not. It serves her right for leaving her things all over the place. Sugawara smiles again, beaming like the sun. Oikawa is forced into a double take. She stops and wonders how large Sugawara’s field of sunflowers actually is. But there’s no time to look for an answer. Sugawara crosses her leg over and places the body of the guitar on her thighs. She adjusts the instrument to comfort and then wraps her arms around it, ready to begin. Every single one of her gestures is so smooth and comfortable. Does she not feel nervous or anxious? Is this collaboration a joke?

 

“Feel free to add your own adlibs,” Sugawara informs with a grin.

 

Oikawa smiles but doesn’t reply. Sugawara’s challenging but she has no intentions of losing. Adlibs are Oikawa’s favourite parts of a live performance. If Sugawara is confident about meeting her then so be it. They nod to start. Sugawara taps her feet on the ground and counts four, three, two and one before she runs her fingers across the strings, making the instrument sing. Sugawara pays three preceding bars to the chorus and they begin singing.

 

It starts off easy. Oikawa follows the score and Sugawara follows it with her memory. Oikawa knows herself best. No matter how she may deny it if people ask, she has been watching Sugawara with a careful eye. She goes along with the song perfectly. Oikawa matches the tone and harmonisation. She does it well enough to put other artists of their time to shame. (Well, maybe with the exception of the annoyingly persistent Ushiwaka-chan and maybe—Oikawa grits her teeth at this, the lyrical genius Tobio-chan.) Once she’s done playing catch, Oikawa switches her tune and runs. As soon as they’re comfortable, Oikawa jumps for the adlib. The thing she doesn’t expect is for Sugawara to chase her with ease.

 

Just as she’s caught by the surprise, Sugawara pulls off the difficult riff that comes just before the bridge. Oikawa’s eyes had been drawn to the movement of those slender fingers. Time had stopped until she mentally slapped herself and said _stop_. Oikawa had scanned her eyes over the riff on the score but she still loses herself in that moment. Sugawara looks down at the guitar and smiles at it, soft, sweet. Oikawa does all that she can just to get back on track to sing the bridge. It’s hard not to be distracted but she clenches her fingers together and sets herself straight all the way to the end.

 

“This…” Azumane acknowledges, awed. “This could actually be pretty good.”

 

“Yeah,” Kunimi nods. “It’ll be a hit.”

 

Azumane reaches out to ruffle Sugawara’s hair. It’s affectionate and Sugawara laughter bursts like bubbles before she opens her eyes and looks at Oikawa again. “What do you think, Tooru-chan?”

 

Oikawa groans. There it is again. _Tooru-chan_. She wonders if Sugawara’s just friendly with everyone. She’s been on first name basis with everyone that she’s mentioned today. However, on the surface, she keeps her face levelled. The smile is carefully painted across her cheeks. She’s not allowing anymore cracks or stray lines.

 

“It should be an honour.”

 

Azumane jerks back wary and offended but Sugawara doesn’t flinch in the least. Instead, she stretches the smile across her lips wider, eyes disappearing under her smile.

 

Sugawara offers her hand for another shake, “Then, please take care of me.”

 

After some nudging from Kunimi, Oikawa caves in. She puts on a wide smile and reaches out tentatively. It’s an odd sensation, curling her fingers against Sugawara’s skin. She had expected it to be warm and sticky, but it’s cool to touch. Sugawara doesn’t seem to mind and squeezes gently. Her eyes sparkle but in her touch, there’s a tinge of mischief that hadn’t been before. Oikawa catches on and returns it with a press of fingers to the inner of Sugawara’s wrist. Now this could be fun.

 

“Likewise.”

 

_Fin._


	5. Day 5: Texting | Sweet Tooth

There’s nothing normal about her dress code today. Instead she’s wearing a simple white one piece. It has a high peter pan collar that cuts off with frills just above her knees. She looks stunning in it. (He thinks she looks stunning all the time. Even when she’s mismatching her clothes because _galaxies_ and _aliens_ and _spaceships_ but let’s not go there today.) Sugawara doesn’t bother suppressing the smile as he looks up at her. There’s a thin layer of pink on her cheeks and it gives her a healthy glow. Oikawa’s eyes twinkle as he tip toes just a little to place a peck on her cheeks. She laughs as he holds his hand out for hers. Oikawa lowers her gaze to meet his before she takes his hand. She curls her fingers into his, giggling as she turns to match his step to the cafe for their brunch date.

 

“Cute,” Sugawara compliments, swinging their hands gently. “As always.”

 

A deeper shade of pink settles over her cheeks but instead of jerking her hand away Oikawa squeezes back. She’s always been bold and open. Sometimes she’s over the top and one track minded but it’s not a problem. Sugawara had been honest but he hasn’t shut her down where compliments are due. In fact, he’s been surprisingly forward and nice. At first, it had been hard to stomach, because her best friend often gives her the cold shoulder and shuts her down. That’s what she’s always been used to. Now she takes it all in stride when she’s with Sugawara.

 

“No, you’re cute,” Oikawa replies, smiling. “As always.”

 

Small talk and bubbles of laughter burst in the little distance between them. Light conversation fills the rest of their walk to the cafe. It’s a routine date but is always enjoyable. Oikawa heads off to their usual seats first. Sugawara picks up two glasses over water before he joins her. They open up the menu together but look at it separately in silence for a few moments. Oikawa decides first and keeps the page open on the item that she wants and waits for Sugawara to come to his own decision.

 

“Have you decided?”

 

Oikawa nods, eyes closed into crescents. “Yeah.”

 

She decides on a ham cheese tomato croissant along with a soy chai latte. It’s nothing different from her usual and Sugawara chuckles into the palm of his hands without a word. He rarely says anything about her decisions if he’s thinks it’s a healthy one. He walks to the counter to put their order through and returns with the table number that he sets at the corner. He makes sure it’s in view of the staff but is tucked away from his line of sight so that he can look at her without any distractions.

 

The conversation that fills their table comes naturally. It’s hard to pinpoint one topic because they jump from one another but it’s not done out of boredom. Oikawa has a lot to say and Sugawara finds it fascinating to listen. The talk of aliens and outer space is fun but there’s also everything else that comes with listening to her speak. He enjoys them all, the high and low of her voice, the dip of tone for disappointment and the rise for excitement and her grand gestures when she’s happy. He just continues on smiling for as long as she talks. Then she stops, smiling.

 

Sugawara entertains her, “What is it?”

 

“You’re doing it again,” Oikawa accuses but without bite.

 

The attention that he gives her is nice. It’s not the suffocating kind that she is often subjected to. Sugawara knows the limits and so he never steps over the boundaries. He’s always been kind but if needed, he will voice his opinion and get her to stop. Sugawara hasn’t changed in the slightest since they started dating and for that, she’s grateful.

 

“I like listening to you,” he says, still grinning.

 

Oikawa’s lips tug at the corners, “I’m a great storyteller.”

 

“I know,” Sugawara hums. “Continue.”

 

Sometimes he’ll zone out but he catches the important parts so she forgives him. Even Oikawa knows it’s impossible for him to pay attention _all_ the time. These days, an individual’s attention span is rather short. Oikawa’s the same way, unless she’s on the court. Sugawara asks a question, giving her the cue to continue. Oikawa carries on animatedly. She throws her arms around with her narration and when she says something a little off, Sugawara chuckles. He’s paying attention. Oikawa makes sure to catch the sound with a small pause.

 

“Eat,” he cuts in. “It’ll go cold.”

 

Oikawa looks down at her plate and finds that she’s left the knife and fork scattered. She quirks her lips up a little and cuts a large piece, shoves it into her mouth and chews. Once her throat is clear, she continues again. Sugawara nods along to her words and continues to eat as quietly as possible. When she goes on a tangent, Sugawara shakes his head and taps the edge of her plate with his knife.

 

“Right,” Oikawa pauses and cuts two even pieces before piling them up and shoving them into her mouth, “And then Iwa-chan threw the ball right at me! Like _bam_!”

 

She points to the corner of her forehead claiming that there’s a big wound but there’s nothing there. Sugawara chuckles and Oikawa narrows her eyes. The fork that she hasn’t dropped is brought to eye level as she waves it at him. Sugawara gives her his trademark smile and she flinches. He’s trying to get out of this. It would have worked like a charm before but it won’t now. She learnt to put a shield up.

 

“You’re thinking that I deserved it aren’t you?”

 

“No,” Sugawara denies, hands up in the air. Then he laughs. “I was thinking we’d have to find another way to deal with you. Can’t have you losing all those brain cells.”

 

Oikawa’s mouth drops open. “Kou-chan!”

 

“Kidding,” Sugawara reaches over and wipes the corner of her mouth with his napkin, “Only one piece left.”

 

Oikawa stabs the last portion of croissant and rams it into her mouth, upset. Sugawara laughs again but she’s watching him. As much as she loves her boyfriend and her best friend, they shouldn’t agree to bully her. That’s mean. She knows what they’re capable of. Sugawara just shakes his head as she continues glaring. He reaches out for the cutlery in her hand and places it down on her plate and takes his own to stack it up. He throws the dirty tissues on top and pushes them to the corner of the table. Once his hands are free again he brings her mug of soy chai into the middle of the table, making sure that it’s within her reach.

 

“Wash it down,” he says and means _if you eat like that you’ll choke_.

 

“Hmph,” Oikawa huffs but curls her fingers around the mug anyway.

 

The waitress comes to the table and politely asks for she could clear the table. Sugawara nods with his ever pleasant smile. Under the table, Oikawa gives him a kick to the shin. He jerks and looks at her surprised. And then the waitress is gone.

 

“I wasn’t flirting.”

 

Oikawa gives him a long and hard stare. Sugawara keeps his stance without backing down. They’re left at a stalemate until the waitress comes back. Oikawa narrows her eyes again but the waitress just sets the plates down and leaves with _enjoy_ on her lips. Oikawa stops, her face half a scowl and half surprise. Oikawa looks at the two dishes confused. She hadn’t asked for it so why? Sugawara curls his lips and pushes one of the dishes closer to her and beckons her to eat. Oikawa stares at it and takes offence. She’s not angry at Sugawara but she’s starting to get upset at the cake.

 

There’s a hint of disapproval in his voice, “You’re not on a diet are you?”

 

“I’m not!” Oikawa exclaims.

 

She’s being honest but she squirms a tad because she had considered it.

 

“Then eat,” Sugawara encourages, gummy smile silly and wide. “You like chocolate lava cake don’t you?”

 

She does. She really, really does but it feels like he’s bullying her! Oikawa eyes the cake and watches as Sugawara slices his fork through it. She glares at the metal cutlery, like it’s an offender. Sugawara ignores her piercing gaze and scoops a bit of vanilla ice cream against the cake before he pops it into his mouth, humming with delight. Oikawa runs her watery eyes up and down the plate to her boyfriend. He’s smiling and she’s trying to glare but he keeps at it, teasing her.

 

Sugawara laughs at her, “Tooru, I bought it for you, so you can eat it.”

 

Oikawa pouts, cheeks puffed up as she keeps her eyes fixed on the fork. If aliens are real then she can try bending the fork with the will of her mind. Sugawara allows her stare and continues to slice through his cake, enjoying it leisurely. He’s teasing her, sure, but he’s also waiting for her to give in. There are a few tricks that he utilises to set her off, but it looks like Oikawa’s set on fighting him today. She turns away, arms crossed and a pout on her features. It’s very cute, but Sugawara’s out to win.

 

“Eat,” Sugawara insists, pushing the plate over. “I’ll love you regardless.”

 

Oikawa ends up sputtering, face aflame. Sugawara breaks into laughter and presents his fork to her. There’s a piece of cake on it. Oikawa grits her teeth together with a mental reprimand but she gives in and gobbles it all up. There’s no way she’s passing up on the apple crumble. To be nice, she feeds him a piece of her chocolate lava cake before devouring the rest.

 

_Fin._


	6. Day 6: Travel | Fairy Tales

Tooru is dreaming. He is certain of it, as he is with most things. Usually he’s wrong. But this time, he aware of his mind’s wandering state. He concludes this isn’t a lucid dream. Instead of going into the future as he demands, his mind backtracks in an eerie way. The dream displays every wrong doing of his life in unexpected clarity. Everything takes a negative spin. There’s no positivity even in the things that he has managed to do well.

 

Tooru knows that his life isn’t all positive but this is over the top. He wonders what kind of guilty thought he had entertained before bed to have such a horrible dream. Nothing comes to mind. Now that he is forced by this stupid dream to look back on it, he admits that he’s done a number of spiteful things. He’s not proud of it but Tooru is not one for regret. He knows how it eats away at the weak and so he doesn’t give in. The choice has been made and the action done. Where due, Tooru has made apologies and that is that.

 

The memory coming back now however is something like an annoying itch. No matter how much he had apologised, the guilt still eats away at the core of his heart. It’s an ancient memory. Tooru had been young and reckless. What kind twelve year old insists on a courage test in the unexplored cave by the beach only to fall down the dip and needed rescuing? Oikawa Tooru. Thank the heavens above Iwa-chan suffered no life threatening injuries.

 

Aside from that there are many more instances where he’d wrong Iwa-chan. Yeah, he owes his best friend more than a dozen apologies. Tooru considers apologising when he wakes up but as he goes deeper into the realm of his memories, he decides not to. There are too many things to apologise for and once he starts, Iwa-chan won’t let him live it down. He’s done fine avoiding it, might as well go all the way. Even if they don’t talk about it, he’s sure that Iwa-chan understands his feelings.

 

At the conclusion, he jerks awake. Tooru feels stiff even before he opens his eyes. He ends up whining as he gets up. Tooru’s voice echoes so he stops, feeling endangered. His bedroom doesn’t echo. He makes sure to be extra quiet when he rubs his eyes to take in the unfamiliar environment. Once he spots darkness lit by spots of light, he wonders if he’s dreaming again. However, there’s a different kind of silence in the air. Nothing moves and there are no flashing images. It makes him raise a brow as he takes in his surroundings again.

 

Tuning in, he hears the sound of water, sloshing. Tooru looks around and finds himself in a wooden boat, floating above a calm lake. The water rocks but the movement is minimal. The place nothing special, until the distance light fills up. Squinting, Tooru notes that they’re lanterns. There are more than a dozen of them and they give the lake an enlightened glow. Beside his little boat there are lanterns passing by. Each design is unique and the colours of the flame vary. It’s beautiful. It’s definitely a dream. Tooru’s never seen something so beautiful in life. Well, there’s the [Bon Festival](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bon_Festival)… but this is a dream!

 

When he looks up, he finally spots company. The other man sharing this little world of his is in a black robe. He has a matching wooden paddle rested upon his lap. Underneath his hood, there are strands of silver hair poking out. His eyes are deep and dark. They seem to melt into the midnight sky surrounding them. The man is just there. It’s calm and peaceful. There’s reason to fear but the current setting instils fear in him. Tooru’s mouth is dry and his words cracked on his tongue. He only manages to stare with his mouth open wide, as if he is ready to bite down on a piece of watermelon. Now he’s craving it because it’s summer and watermelon is always a must.

 

“Sorry I don’t have any watermelon.”

 

Tooru shuts his mouth immediately. The hooded man’s smile is a little dim, reflecting the apology in his voice. He had meant it. Although he rarely displays it, Tooru knows what sincerity sounds like. It makes Tooru feel a little bit ticked off. Why would this unknown man apologise to him for not having any watermelon? This is one hell of a weird dream. Tooru looks around himself, notes that nothing has changed and looks at the man again. The question floats in his head and before he can voice it, there’s an answer.

 

“I’d be the ferryman,” he says, smile pleasant.

 

“I’m didn’t say anything,” Tooru squeaks. “Stop reading my mind!”

 

The ferryman chuckles and scratches his cheek with a weak smile. The corner of his mouth quivers like he’s trying to hold back a laugh, but he might also be crying. Tooru doesn’t know for sure but it’s awkward. He’s making it awkward. Tooru decides that he doesn’t like this person.

 

“You did, actually.”

 

Tooru stares and then ignores. “…you are?”

 

“The ferryman.”

 

Tooru’s mouth pauses in response and his brain short circuits. So, a ferryman is not exactly dream material. He zips his mouth up and tries to start his brain again. The man keeps smiling and Tooru meets it with his practiced one. There’s no need to be genuine with someone he barely knows. It takes a bit of work to get back into gear but once he’s warmed up to it, Oikawa shines bright. He doesn’t know what’s going on and he doesn’t care. He will however, play along.

 

“Fairy, huh?” Oikawa smiles, makes sure that it’s a dreamlike one. Iwa-chan often said that there was too much of a flower effect behind that smile. Now, it comes in handy. “You’re cute.”

 

“Ferryman,” he corrects amused by the obvious denial. “Thank—”

 

“I’m heard you!” Oikawa snaps.

 

What was it that he’d always said when Iwa-chan told him to get some sleep?

 

_That can be a thing for when I’m dead._

Well fucking done, Tooru.

 

“So…”

 

Tooru starts his sentence but doesn’t continue it. His eyes are drawn to the spots of light above the lake that continue floating far from shore. Tooru wants to cry. This might be the Bon after all and he’s on the receiving end of it. Now that he’s paying attention, there are other things coming into view. Several boats float in the distance and there’s a ferryman rowing along on each of them. It’s not a notable pace but it causes Tooru to stop. Why isn’t his boat moving?

 

“Cause of death?”

 

The question comes out without warning and he grits his teeth together, annoyed. Tooru’s been cool about a lot of things in his life and death, was always going to come. He had said that he’d play it cool then too. Pretend stands close to his favourite game, but he’s clearly lost it here.

 

The ferryman blinks. “Well—”

 

“Was it gruesome?” Tooru interjects. “Or was it…”

 

He hopes he had died heroic or something.

 

The ferryman’s eyes soften and they’re akin to pity. “No, you’re—”

 

Tooru interrupts again. He doesn’t want to know after all. “Aren’t we going yet?”

 

The ferryman shakes his head, “I’m a bit ahead of schedule.”

 

“Oh,” Tooru drops his head.

 

There’s another minute of pause. Tooru wonders how long he’ll have to wait. He’s not good at silence. He doesn’t want to ask anything about his death but if this keeps up, he will. From the corner of his eyes, Tooru can see the sweet smiling ferryman look at him with anticipation. He looks like he has something that he wants to say but he’s waiting. Tooru turns away, but silence doesn’t sit well. He starts clicking his tongue, feeling restless. Tooru waits and waits but the boat stays anchored. The ferryman says nothing, clearly reading the signs.

 

Tooru snaps, “How long are we waiting?”

 

He sighs—that tone again, “Oikawa Tooru-kun—”

 

“All the lanterns,” Tooru says. “Is it the Bon Festival here tonight?”

 

Tooru fixes his eyes on the lanterns, demanding an answer. The ferryman heaves a sigh and entertains him. He turns towards shore and points to the far end of darkness. Tooru takes his eyes there and settles his gaze in that corner. The ferryman falls silent. At shore, the shadows that resemble humans step forward, crystals dropping from their eyes. They kneel and place the lanterns onto the water, letting it drift away from them. The image tells a story of it’s own, but once the scene ends and is ready to repeat, the ferryman continues.

 

“They’re offerings,” he explains finally, his voice calm and soothing. “From family and friends.”

 

“What about flowers and food or drinks?” Tooru questions, surprised.

 

He always brings his grandfather roses and sake.

 

“Well, the dead don’t eat or drink,” the ferryman reasons. “Nor do they have a use for flowers. All offerings are made lanterns when they reach this realm. The flames are a guide.”

 

“So it’s Bon all year ‘round?”

 

“Of sorts,” the ferryman replies. He gives Tooru another look, ready to start what he couldn’t finish earlier. “Tooru-kun—”

 

Tooru stops him from providing any unwanted information. He asks all the questions that he can think of about the afterlife. It’s not every day that he experiences death. Though he’s not sure he’ll remember it, he wants to have the information here and now. Understanding it now is better than never. Maybe he’ll also figure out life along the way. Tooru’s company sighs but complies. The ferryman gives simple replies to some questions and ignores the ones that he cannot answer. There’s only so much Tooru can ask.

 

When they run out of things to say on the topic, Tooru loses himself in speaking of his own life. He speaks animatedly, just like he did when he was alive. There’s nothing stopping him now, especially not a volleyball to the face. The ferryman is attentive. He nods along and makes encouraging comments. Time flies and Tooru losses track of how many boats move on. Tooru retracts his previous opinion. Maybe he can swap out one Kyoutani for the ferryman who actually _listens_.

 

“You really did that?”

 

Tooru nods. “Of course I did!”

 

Laughter bubbles out of the ferryman’s thin lips. Tooru stops his narration, awed. It’s a beautiful sound. He watches as the ferryman laughs. The ferryman covers up half of his expression with his hand but Tooru can tell that it is a generous gesture of happiness. The tinge of happiness transfers but before Tooru can laugh along there’s a sharp screech by his ears. Tooru doubles over and clutches his ears. His eyes are blown wide as the pain sears through him. It is a sharp pain but only lasts a second before it dulls.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Ah,” the ferryman lights up. “Looks like someone’s calling for you.”

 

“What?”

 

“C’mon.” Tooru turns back to the sound of the ferryman’s voice and looks at him, confused. Saying nothing, death places his hands under Tooru’s armpits and lifts him into the air. Tooru yelps, feeling much lighter than he actually is. The ferryman chuckles and lowers him again, feet first on the wooden pier behind them. “Off you go.”

 

He’s smiling again and wow, he’s not death like at all. Actually, even from the very beginning he hadn’t. Tooru wants to keep his eyes on that expression but his vision blurs in and out. There’s a voice calling his name and it doesn’t belong to the ferryman. It’s not sweet and gentle. Instead, it’s grating and angry. He flinches instinctively at the sound because it reminds him of Iwa-chan’s scolding voice. The ferryman draws away and his kind air disappears. Tooru drifts. Everything blurs out just a little except for the soft voice that comes to console him.

 

“You’ll be fine.” The ferryman’s voice is surprisingly clear, like he’s still close by. “Sometimes people get lost, but they always find their way back.”

 

Tooru squeezes his eyes shut. The attempt at resetting his vision fails. When he opens his eyes again, there’s nothing but empty white. He opens his mouth to speak and he hears himself but he’s not sure if the message gets through.

 

_Can I come play again?_

 

The sound of the water fades out. The feel of wood under his feet disappears. The warmth of the flame lanterns is replaced by cold. Silence in darkness and silence in light. The world comes back in vibrant colour. His fingers are cold and stiff but his cheeks are warmed with each drop of liquid on his face. Iwa-chan’s crying face. Then a distant laugh.

 

_Please don’t._

 

_Fin._


	7. Day 7: AU | Free Prompt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is like a mash of the prompts from this week that I didn't manage to write rather than anything else. It's late because I got ambitious. It's the longest and I burnt out so please excuse any errors that remain.

It’s hot but Koushi shouldn’t complain. It’s the middle of summer now so it’s to be expected. He’s decked out in a suit—against his will—but he shouldn’t be lying on the couch in the first place. Leather becomes sticky and uncomfortable when the weather is humid. Everything falls to the heat. Koushi knows this. However, he has an attachment that he hasn’t managed to explain. That’s why they’re taking him from this place and putting him into another, more grand and extravagant. It’s not all his style, but it is apparently ‘more appropriate’ for someone of his position.

 

Koushi cracks an eye open when the knocking starts. It’s soft and light, just like her. It’s also tentative and sweet but when he ignores her, the knocking follows the usual pattern. It becomes panicked and stressful. Sometimes, he just likes to play but this time he really just wants some peace so that he can spend the last moments in here the way he wants. They plan to demolish his office and the ones next door for the renovation of a bigger lecturer room.

 

“One,” Koushi counts, amused smile dancing on his lips. “Two, three!”

 

At three, the door flies open to a high kick. Koushi has to admit that Shimizu has taught her protégé well. He pulls himself up from the sofa and immediately meets Yachi with a smile. She’s honed her skills over the years. He knows that he must smile upon meeting her because she is no longer going to let him slip away. As Yachi steps inside, Koushi makes an effort to get to his feet, standing tall as she needs him to. She swipes the tie splayed on the armrest of the couch and shakes her head. Koushi pops up the collar of his dress shirt and moves his hands away.

 

“Professor,” Yachi frowns, pulling the tie over his neck. “Can’t we get you to do anything?”

 

Koushi smiles purposefully flirty, “Now why would I, when it means that you’ll be helping me out like this?”

 

“It’s an important day!” Yachi scolds. She narrows her eyes and almost chokes him when she brings the tie up. “You shouldn’t be playing around anymore.”

 

Koushi chokes and pulls back immediately. He knew that he was asking for that one but couldn’t help it. Still, he plays it up as usual. It’s a trick that he has learnt long, long ago. Despite his reprimand for the flimsy behaviour back then, Koushi has to admit that it comes handy in situations like these. A front can be powerful.

 

“Where did you learn such a horrible trick!” Koushi exclaims dramatically.

 

He tugs at her cheek. Yachi smiles involuntarily, the corners of her lips smiling too.

 

“Ah, Kageyama-kun?” Koushi clicks immediately, in the mood to tease. “Did you have to use that on him too or…?”

 

Yachi’s eyes flash red, “Professor!”

 

Koushi laughs, the sound popping like bubbles. He pulls away in time with Yachi who draws her hands back. He slips into the jacket and runs his hand down the material to wipe away the lingering dust. She looks at him carefully, running her eyes up and down his form several times. She’s not going to be satisfied. Koushi can already see her frowning.

 

“Did you sleep on the sofa again?” Yachi sighs, “Your suit is all crinkled.”

 

Koushi reaches down to the hem of his clothes and pulls it. It doesn’t straighten all that well but he looks up at her with a wide grin, begging her to recognise his efforts. Yachi doesn’t give him the okay. Instead she shakes her head and reassures him that she’s got an extra jacket pressed in the car and urges him to pick up the pace. Instead of complying, Koushi turns back and drops his eyes to his desk once again. All he manages is a sigh for the unfamiliar sight of it being so empty.

 

“Professor,” Yachi prompts. “We really do need to go now. We’re late.”

 

Koushi doesn’t look but reaches back to ruffle her golden locks, asking for one moment. No one will understand this attachment that he has to the office. He cannot explain it either. It’s inconceivable. Sometimes, Koushi doesn’t think that it had happened, but there are reminders scattered all over the place. There are occasions where he will zone into the lingering warmth against patches of his skin or the moments where he hears the obnoxious laughter and voice, declaring unbelievable things. It’s just like a passing dream.

 

“Okay,” he concedes and then pretends. He knows who. He had used this person as a reason to turn down his mother’s suggestion of an omiai after all. “Who am I meeting again?”

 

Yachi pulls his hands away and drops it back down by his side, brows furrowed in frustration. “Director Iwaizumi! C’mon.”

 

She grabs everything that he needs to take with him and presses it to her chest. With her free right hand, she clamps down on his wrist and tugs him out the room. Koushi is reluctant but he doesn’t put up much of a fight. His feet actually carry their own and he thinks that maybe a part of his heart has resigned. With one final look and a sigh, Koushi lets go of the door frame and follows the path created by the tugging of Yachi’s hand. _No more_ , he thinks and then tries to clear his head, but Yachi’s hand around his wrist is hot.

 

All he can think about is the heat. It’s humid. The suit and tie make everything suffocating and hot. Unbearably so. Just like that once. Once upon a time ago.

 

 

 

 

 

Koushi wakes up hot. He twists and turns in discomfort. He’s not fully awake but his brain is aware. Surely, it can’t be this _hot_ in winter but before he actually gets up, he looks for an alternative. Koushi turns away from the sofa and pulls at the collar of his shirt to fan it against his chest. He thinks that it’s mildly ridiculous, but is slow to get up regardless of logic. He’s refusing reality. It’s been days. He’s dead tired after submitting his paper and this ounce of sleep that he’s finally managed to catch will not go awry. Only when it really starts burning does he jerk awake, opening his eyes to orange flames and desk full of charred paperwork. Is the fire alarm out of battery?

 

“Fuck...” Koushi hisses.

 

He rolls off the couch at top speed but does so without accounting for the table by it. He knocks his knee right into it, causing a prolonged ache at his joint. However, his reflexes dull the pain and he finds himself dashing out of his room for the fire extinguisher. It’s all the way at the end of the hall but thanks to years of athletic training as a member of the volleyball club, the run doesn’t wear him out and he makes it back, ready to fight the fire. Koushi hugs the extinguisher and squeezes the pedal as shown on the instructions, defusing the fire with the contents inside.

 

“Eek!” A voice bellows from behind his desk. “Cold!”

 

Koushi freezes out of shock. Once the smoky screen clears, he spots a body there, fingers clawing their way into his wooden desk and he steps back instinctively in case he needs to run. Instead of running though, he’s left frozen, mouth agape and deep brown eyes blown wide. Although naked, the intruder is very much human, not like those weird aliens that often come out in the anime that Koushi likes to watch. At least the fire is out.

 

“Naked!” Koushi barks, mortified.

 

Sparkling eyes blink up at him and wow, they’re super glossy and attractive. Koushi should keep his gaze there but he cannot take his eyes off the line of smooth skin presented to him. This is insane! He’s probably still dreaming or something. That’s got to be it. He squeezes the handle again, hoping to wash the mirage away just as it did with the fire. But the voice is real, unless he has gone mad with worry in regards to the proposal that he submitted earlier. Unfortunately this is very possible when he’s high on caffeine and low on sleep.

 

“Stop, stop it! It’s cold!”

 

Once the protest settles in, Koushi’s fingers loosen on the handle as he stares with his mouth wide open, a mirror image of those old turning clowns from the carnivals his parents had taken him to. Slowly, the man gets up, dusting himself as Koushi tries to keep his gaze away. There’s too much to see, but nothing that he wants to see. Koushi drops the fire extinguisher and turns his head to the side. He does, however, keep the man in the corner of his vision to ensure that he doesn’t commit a second act of arson.

 

“Who are you?” He asks, “Why did you set my office on fire?”

 

There’s no answer. The naked man with dark brown hair and matching eyes ignores him. Instead, he looks around the office with bewilderment written all over his face. Koushi follows his moments and sighs when he takes in the state of his office. There are paper and books scattered everywhere. The glass window is smashed to pieces, the wooden pane broken and tattered. His office is on the seventh floor so how did that happen? This particular room isn’t facing the field so there’s no way that broken window is a sports injury.

 

“Where the hell did you even come from?”

 

That seems to elicit a response as the man’s whole face lights up. It’s another expression altogether as he points out the window and into the sky. There aren’t many stars tonight but Koushi has a slight idea of what it is that he’s trying to say and he hopes that this is some kind of joke that will dispel when he stays silent. However, there is confirmation to follow.

 

“There.”

 

Koushi stares at the darkness. “There?”

 

There’s an affirming nod which comes with an expression of annoyance that makes him question his sanity all over again. He reaches up to his cheeks and pinches hard, yelping in the process because, it’s clear that he’s no longer asleep. Hell, is that Cassiopeia that he’s directing?

 

 

 

 

 

The man that had denied attempting to burn Koushi’s little office settles into his pace relatively quickly. He sits on the couch and darts his eyes around the room with caution. He hunches into himself and it makes Koushi more aware of how small the office is. He’s not anyone special, just one the postgraduate students being lent an office. It’s not meant to be grand but now, he feels that it’s inadequate. The man before him continues to fold into himself as if the space is not and will never be enough. Koushi wonders briefly if there’s a problem but he pushes the thought aside because the matter at hand is more pressing.

 

“Okay, so basically…” Koushi pauses. He feels absolutely ridiculous for even _considering_ this as fact. “You’re star that’s a part of Cassiopeia?”

 

He clicks his tongue and answers with great displeasure. “If that is what you humans call us.”

 

“Right,” Koushi nods. “And how are you getting… home?”

 

The stranger looks up into the sky, frowning. It almost looks like he’s glaring at another one of his kind up there but Koushi cannot draw up any logical conclusions. This is bizarre. Even if he’s not dreaming, this person could be completely _whack_ , though that would be calling the kettle black. Koushi is also here, seated and comfortably having a conversation about human stars with a complete stranger.

 

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “But I’ll find a way.”

 

God, he sounds like a parrot, but there’s nothing else that he _can_ say. “Right.”

 

“Until then, I’ll be staying here.”

 

He keeps his feet very firmly planted in the ground, enhancing Koushi’s comprehension. He means Japan and this office. He means this very place to disrupt everything that Koushi’s known. Great. That sounds lovely.

 

“What,” Koushi barks, suddenly alive. “You can’t decide that all on your own!”

 

In his protest, he’d turned to face the stranger head on. It’s an accident but Koushi flushes bright red, all the way to the tip of his ears. He jerks away just as quickly, clicking his tongue, annoyed. The stranger is still refusing to put on clothes. Koushi had only a lab coat and a jacket to offer. It won’t keep the man warm enough through the winter night but he was rejected without any consideration. Koushi’s reaction doesn’t go unnoticed.

 

The self proclaimed star glares at him, “You humans look at us all the time. We’re naked _then_ , so what’s the difference?”

 

He crosses his legs and turns away, face in an automatic pout that looks too well practiced, to be anything but human. It heightens Koushi’s doubt of the man’s claims. He tries again, only to be rejected with every ounce of strength that the man has. Drained and feeling ridiculous, Koushi pretends that he sees nothing and gets up to go home as usual. He picks up his messenger bag, throws it over his shoulder and leaves for his apartment. In the morning, things will return to normal.

 

Maybe.

 

Despite his chant, Koushi returns to his office the next day with a change of clothes for the man that may or may not be a part of his imagination. He had left his jacket behind along with the lab coat but that’s not going to be enough if the man claiming to be a star is still there. For some ominous reason, Koushi feels like he’s definitely going to be there.

 

At the door, he is hesitant to enter. It feels like he will be taking on responsibility if he does. But there’s no choice. The office is his and there’s still a lot for him to do. Sighing, Koushi puts his hand on the knob and turns. As expected, the stranger is inside, though he doesn’t expect him to be asleep on the table. Koushi slaps his hand to his forehead, feeling exhausted. Why sleep on the table when there’s a couch nearby? That makes no sense at all. He’s still naked too. Koushi shakes his head as he grabs the lab coat sitting on the armrest and throws it over the man’s body. Koushi is in the middle of deciding whether or not he should wake him, when he starts stirring.

 

“It hurts…” he whines, rolling around like a child. “What is wrong with me?”

 

His stomach rumbles loudly and Koushi drops his head, exhausted. “Aren’t you just hungry?”

 

“What’s that?” The man cracks an eye open and his expression is weak. “Is it pretty, like me?”

 

Koushi groans because his first thought is _no, because you’re enthralling_. However, there’s a distraction before he can hate himself. The man’s stomach grumbles and he continues to roll around with whines spilling out of his lips. Frowning, Koushi forces the self proclaimed star to get dress. He thinks that it will be easy but the stranger fights him to take on the challenge alone, only to eventually give up and ask _how_. Koushi walks him through the steps slowly and tries to calm himself in the process. He can only deal with one problem at a time. Feeding the stranger is a priority. He doesn’t know how long he can listen to him whinge so the café will be their next step and it’ll be the cheapest thing on the menu.

 

“You need to eat,” Koushi informs. “Get up.”

 

The words are probably strange because the stranger retreats and curls into himself. Koushi reaches out and is slapped away. Koushi raises a brow but the man only pushes further into the room. Sighing, Koushi changes his mind frame and steps away. He takes steps towards the door and opens it, showing the stranger the way. It takes five minutes to get out of the door but not even three seconds before he clings onto Koushi. As soon as other people come into view, the man shrinks and makes Koushi his lifeline.

 

Koushi sighs and tries to prey him off. “Hey, could you—”

 

“No!” He wails, digging his fingers into Koushi’s skin.

 

Koushi grits his teeth together but doesn’t fight it. The grip is no joke. He decides that he would like to get out without any lingering bruises so he walks to the café in silence, dragging the extra weight with him. He tries to get the stranger to sit down at one of the tables so that he can order but the man insists on following. Defeated, Koushi takes him along and orders a set breakfast. Only when they’re sitting is he allowed any freedom. He sets the tray of rice, grilled fish and miso soup down and gestures at it.

 

“Eat,” Koushi instructs.

 

The man looks at the tray and then the utensils placed by the bowls with uncertainty. Koushi passes him the chopsticks. He takes it and holds one in each hand and begins poking at the food on display. It continues as long as Koushi waits and so he gives him the spoon instead. He scoops the first as a demonstration and the man follows, picking up the act rather quickly. However, he’s only eating the rice and the soup. Sighing, Koushi picks up the chopsticks and debones the fish. Timing it with each scoop of rice, Koushi places a small piece of fish on top of the rice. It goes into the man’s throat with a pleasant hum.

 

“So, what should I call you?”

 

“I don’t know,” he mumbles in reply, stuffing his face curiously. “What do you humans call me?”

 

Koushi knits his brows together because how is he supposed to know that? Sure, he likes looking at stars but he’s no expert. He doesn’t even know which star in Cassiopeia this kid claims to be. Like hell—why is he thinking of this as real anyway? Koushi drops his head in disbelief and listens to the clattering as the man goes through his meal. It looks like he’ll have to change his mind set to avoid the confusion.

 

Less than two minutes later, the stranger picks up the empty rice bowl and shoves it in his face. “More?”

 

There are grains of rice stuck to the corner of his mouth and all Koushi can think of his how endearing he looks. He’s smiling with a wide grin, flashing his white teeth and his eyes sparkle with expectation that Koushi finds himself crumbling to. This cannot be good for his heart.

 

“Alright,” Koushi sighs, pushing himself out of his chair. He needs a moment away. “Wait right here, okay?”

 

“Okay!”

 

He returns with a fresh tray and this time, the man doesn’t need any help.

 

“We’ll need to pick out a name for me to call you by,” Koushi sighs. “And we’ll go from there.”

 

“Got it!”

 

Okay, so apparently food is also the way to a star’s heart.

 

 

 

 

 

Because it’d be weird to buy a book of names, Koushi decides to google everything. That’s what the internet is for. He had been trying to get the so called star to take on a name only to have every single suggestion rejected with a pout so strong, he failed miserably. He doesn’t have the time to entertain him anyway, so he sets the man at the computer and teaches him to scroll so that he can work on his own projects. It’s not very effective, because speaking is clearly different from reading.

 

“How do I read that?”

 

He had wanted to get some work done but Koushi caves. He slides his chair over and stares at the computer screen with the star. It’s been less than twenty four hours but Koushi can already see how the guy works. If he doesn’t follow along, there will never be a moment of quiet. Koushi takes the mouse and goes down the list lazily. He skips more than a dozen because the list of names is endless. The stranger doesn’t seem to know any better but even then, Koushi is getting tired. He doesn’t realise that he’s nodding off until he is nudged.

 

“That one,” he points to the kanji at the bottom. “How do I read it?”

 

Koushi squints and leans forward, “Tooru.”

 

“Tooru,” he repeats. “I like it.”

 

“Then it’s settled?” Koushi sighs in relief for the end of the task, “I’ll call you Tooru.”

 

“What do I call you then?”

 

Koushi pauses. Exactly _what_ should it be? Sugawara will be too distant if he’s calling him Tooru but he’s too lazy to come up with a family name. It will create distance between them but then it’ll also make things complicated. He’ll need a story to accommodate them just in case they run into his family and friends as well. Koushi’s not sure if he has the energy to do that right now so he settles.

 

“Koushi is fine.”

 

“Koushi,” Tooru says and repeats, teasing the syllables on his tongue, “Koushi.”

 

Tooru repeats his name like a babbling child. It’s neither bad nor good. Koushi isn’t used to being called by his first name but Tooru makes it nice. There’s light in his voice and he sounds so happy Koushi cannot find it in himself to fault him for it. He watches for a moment and then cuts in the middle of Tooru’s parade. If they’re on good terms right now, they may as well get a few details out of the way.

 

“So, are you willing to tell me why you’re here yet?”

 

Tooru fixes him with a stare. He looks out the window and squirms like a lost child. “I don’t know.”

 

They have a stare down for a good thirty seconds before Koushi’s eyes blur with tears and gives out. Koushi rests his eyes for a moment before he starts again with a different approach. Tooru doesn’t know anything. He claims that there is no home but the sky and no family on earth. The night falls before Koushi even manages to obtain a useful piece of information. Unable to leave him in the office unsupervised, Koushi takes him home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Koushi wakes up to heat pressed against his body. He hopes that it’s his blanket but the weight indicates otherwise. He had pulled out the extra futon last night. He had also tucked Tooru in to make sure that he stays, but here Tooru is, lodged right by his side. Not only is he in Koushi’s bed, his limbs are tangled in the sheets and pillows. It makes moving to get out of bed a chore. With excessive effort, Koushi peels himself away from the warm blankets and pillows. He’s not going to waste energy by reacting negatively to this. It doesn’t seem like Tooru understands much. His words can be biting but his understanding of the world is limited. For that, Koushi feels bad about. The world is a dangerous place, for adults and children alike. Tooru’s lack of understanding makes him feel like he can’t be mean. So Koushi is quiet as he rolls out of bed and conducts his morning routine.

 

He starts the day with a cold cup of milk and works his way up. In the kitchen, he makes breakfast for one and cleans the utensils. Just as he sits down to start his meal Koushi remembers that he has company. Cursing under his breath, Koushi gets up and heads back into the kitchen. He pulls out the items that he’s just put away and starts on a second serving. Koushi is cracking the egg when he hears his alarm go off.

 

He’d forgotten to turn it off. He’s halfway back into his bedroom to turn it off when he finds Tooru shrieking. Breaking into a run in case there’s a problem, he finds Tooru attacking his phone with the pillow. Tooru is whacking it with all his might but it doesn’t shut up so he ends up screaming along with it. It’s like a competition. Koushi is stuck between panic and amusement. He moves a little too slow, trying to filter through and avoid being hit but that’s a mistake.

 

Having had enough, Tooru grabs the damned thing and rushes out of the room. He pushes Koushi aside and he jams his elbow against the door, hitting the funny bone that renders him motionless until he hears a crack in the bathroom. Koushi’s eyes blow wide and he rushes in to find that Tooru has attempted to flush his phone. Koushi rushes over and looks into the bowl, disbelief scribbled across his face. He bites down on his lips and exhales slowly to calm, just like Tooru had the moment the phone had shut up. Once composed, Koushi grabs the glove and slips it on. Even if the phone isn’t going to work, the toilet has to. However, amidst his attempt, the fire alarm goes off and Koushi groans. _The eggs_. Startled by the second round of sudden loud noises, Tooru starts bawling his eyes out.

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

 

Koushi doesn’t set the alarm after that. He uses his body’s internal clock instead. Also, no eggs in the morning.

 

 

 

 

 

Taking Tooru out shopping is a pain, particularly on his wallet but Koushi has no choice. Tooru can’t keep wearing his clothes. He doesn’t have that many and none of them fit Tooru all that well. It cuts off at all the wrong places and comes back stretched beyond repair. If he doesn’t act fast, it’ll just mean more money replacing his own clothes as well. Why is Tooru both taller and bigger than him?

 

“You promised to behave,” Koushi reminds. “And you promised that you wouldn’t say anything weird.”

 

He’s got his hands rested on Tooru’s shoulders to be intimidating. However, Koushi isn’t looking at him so he’s not sure how well his methods go. Tooru is still dressed in his clothes. The plain black shirt is a tad too tight and the pants too short. The worn sports shoes are the only thing that fits well. Despite the mismatch, Tooru looks prettier than ever. Koushi can’t bring himself to meet Tooru’s eyes, so he looks past him and reminds him of his promise.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Koushi exhales to compose, “Okay. You’ll follow my example, right?”

 

Tooru nods. Koushi shows him how to commute. The train ride that comes after is peaceful beyond his imagination. Koushi had thought that Tooru would be all over the place but he is silent. Although he sticks close, he’s not clinging. Instead, he’s folding into himself again, like there’s not enough space. Now, it makes more sense. Tooru doesn’t have an attack so it’s probably not phobia but if he were really a star, he would be used to having more space than this.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Tooru throws him a glare. “Why didn’t you tell me we’d have to ride this thing?”

 

“Sorry,” Koushi apologises even though he doesn’t know enough about Tooru to be accommodating. “I didn’t think… we’ll be there soon okay?”

 

Tooru nods without an answer and stays silent during the ride. Once they arrive, Koushi takes them to the nearest exit. Colour returns to Tooru’s face the moment that there’s more space and air. It calms his worries and he tugs at Tooru’s hand to lead him to the shops that they are going to explore today. They only have to pick a few items up so they won’t be staying inside the store for too long. If they don’t dawdle, they can probably save Tooru from his panic.

 

“The buildings…” Tooru’s voice is a whisper but his eyes twinkle at the sight. “They’re huge! Sky high!”

 

Tooru spins on his feet and takes what he can in. His eyes continue to dart, never resting on one place to study it in detail. He’s awed by the new sight. It is daylight so the streets are bustling with people and there is a lot more to see. Everything is out on display and Tooru cannot keep still, taking steps forward to look at one thing and then another step backwards to check what he had missed.

 

“It’s so pretty Koushi!” Tooru’s exclamation is punctuated with his shaking fists.

 

Koushi chuckles, “You’re such a kid.”

 

That gets him a glare. Tooru stomps over and pokes him. “I’m older than you. Definitely.”

 

“How old exactly?”

 

“Old!” Tooru snaps.

 

Koushi holds Tooru’s gaze for a moment but doesn’t push it. He doesn’t look old but it seems like age is also a touchy topic with Tooru. Standing by to watch, he allows Tooru to look at their surroundings for a moment longer before he grabs his wrist and tugs him along. They don’t have any time today so he promises that they’ll come back another time. At that time, Tooru can stare until his heart is content. Once they make the agreement, Tooru follows without a fight.

 

They head directly to Koushi’s usual shopping place and start off by testing sizes. As soon as they determine it, Koushi allows Tooru to take his pick. Despite being mentally prepared for it, Koushi has trouble catching up to Tooru’s pace. Tooru runs around the store like a child and gets excited about every little thing. Everything is new and fascinating but they don’t hold his attention for long. Tooru picks things up and drops them the moment that he loses interest. Koushi is left to apologise to the clerk as he hands the items back.

 

It’s only two hours later, when Tooru is satisfied, that they’re able to leave. His choices of pants are the most normal. The jeans don’t come in much aside from dark, blue and wash. His shirts though, are full of colour and if they contain print, they’re mostly of stars and depictions of the galaxy. He had grumbled about how they’re not even close to the real thing but kept them anyway. At the end of the day, Koushi decides that he’ll believe Tooru. There’s no harm in it and there’s no way Tooru has the energy to act that well.

 

 

 

 

 

For the next month, they keep things under the radar. In total, they manage two. It is longer than Koushi had expected so he’s thankful that he had managed to delay the scrutiny of his friends. However, it’s only natural that they picked up on his change of behaviour and timetable eventually. Koushi avoids every one of Daichi’s confrontation only to have his friend resort to the final tactic. Dachi declares a war and brings the others to Koushi’s door for an invasion.

 

“Suga-san!”

 

“Um…” Koushi has the door pulled back, but he doesn’t have the heart to shut it. Noya has his feet lodged in the space between and they cannot afford to hurt him. “I’m not wearing any clothes?”

 

Koushi’s white sleeve is sticking out like a sore thumb but they don’t bother refuting with that. They’re going to get in one way or another.

 

“Nothing we haven’t seen before!” Noya claims, carding an arm through to make way for his intended forced entry. “Don’t worry about it!”

 

“Hey, hey, hey—”

 

Tanaka joins the foray and all is lost. Koushi has his methods against Noya but there’s no way he can win against two. The door flies open and Koushi drops his head, defeated. Maybe he’ll get Tooru to hide while they take off their shoes. That can be a plan.

 

Daichi cuts right to the chase. “What are you hiding?”

 

Before he can say ‘nothing’, Tooru jumps into the hallway screaming, “Breakfast!”

 

 

 

 

 

Instead of breakfast, Koushi ends up serving green tea for six. Everyone is settled into the kotatsu. There’s enough space for all of them but Tooru clings onto him without any intentions of letting go. Koushi would find it cute, if he could say for sure that Tooru still feeling lost in a world that isn’t his. Unfortunately, instead of insecurity, there is a hint of malice in Tooru’s grip. Koushi can’t pull away. Meeting other people and befriending them is one of the things that Koushi has yet to teach Tooru.

 

“Who’s this?”

 

All four sets of eyes are on him. Koushi doesn’t have room to lie.

 

“Tooru.”

 

Daichi presses, “And he is?”

 

“I’m the star of Koushi’s life!” Tooru exclaims, grinning from ear to ear. It’s like he’s claiming his piece because he feels threatened. “The one and only!”

 

Koushi tilts his head to the side and glares, _what the hell happened to not saying weird things?_ Tooru ignores him in favour of smiling at his crowd. There’s a moment of silence that passes through and Koushi tries his best not to react. Any reaction will give his friends something to say, some reason to tease. He doesn’t know how well Tooru will deal with that so avoiding it will be the best course. Still, there will be a reaction so Koushi waits with his fists clenched in fear. However, the way that they respond is about as normal as it can get.

 

“Oh…” Asahi displays a bashful smile and extends a shy hand. He’s so gentle Koushi wonders how people misunderstand him _all_ the time. “It’s nice to meet you… um, I hope—”

 

“Do you play volleyball?” Noya’s eyes light up and he lunges across the table, looking up at Tooru with great expectations. “Do you? You look like you’d be good at it!”

 

“Hah?!” Tanaka cuts in with a loud voice. He flicks the blanket aside and sets his foot on top of the table with a thud. “What the hell?”

 

Before Koushi can intervene, Daichi catches him. Once their eyes meet, all Koushi can do is comply. While Tooru is distracted, he pulls away and walks a few steps to the side for the private conversation that Daichi had requested. Daichi crosses his arms and draws his brows together, just like a disapproving parent.

 

“We don’t mind that you’ve gotten yourself a boyfriend—”

 

Koushi’s snort stops short because Daichi is glaring. “Ah, sorry, sorry, continue.”

 

Daichi narrows his eyes, looking sharp before he goes on. He warns Koushi of all the dangers just like a parent. Koushi nods along obediently because he has to agree. He still doesn’t know all that much about Tooru so being careful is a must. Just before he finishes, Daichi grabs his shoulder and squeezes. He straightens himself and meets Daichi’s eyes, afraid that he’d been caught nodding off. His friend has dropped into serious mode. The look in his eyes is hardened and his grip death like.

 

“Make sure you use protection!”

 

“Wait just a minute—”

 

There’s no time to rectify the situation. From the table, Tooru wails for help. Koushi turns and finds Tooru being squashed between Tanaka and Noya. Okay, that’s not good. Tooru needs his space. He cannot be coddled like that, especially by people he deems strangers. He will scream and he will cry and all hell will break loose. Koushi already has enough on his plate this morning. Aside from Daichi, he will also hear a lecture from Asahi, Tanaka and Noya. Following that, the rumour will spread and even the juniors will come after him.

 

“Daichi, let me—”

 

“Not until you promise,” Daichi demands, fingers digging into Koushi’s shoulder.

 

“Honestly?” Koushi replies, baffled and exhausted. Daichi nods, eyes sharp. “Alright. I will, okay? So, let me go.”

 

Koushi arrives too late. Tooru shrieks with all his might and flips the table forward in his protest. It doesn’t go very far but it does slap Asahi hard across the face.

 

 

 

 

 

When Koushi greets the morning sun, it’s glaring bright as usual. He turns into the heat at his side and groans inwardly. Tooru is clinging onto him again. As much as he’s annoyed, Koushi reaction is minimal. Like yesterday, he removes himself from the bed without a fuss. He throws the blanket back over Tooru’s body but leaves the room for good. He’s up now so he may as well get to work. Once Tooru is up, there won’t be time to do anything else. He’s still got a bunch of things to teach him about being human. Tooru stumbles out of the bedroom an hour later and topples into the chair. He eats breakfast in silence and then goes to brush his teeth just as Koushi had taught him. In the bathroom, he brushes sleepily and tugs at his messy bed hair. Once he’s back and fully awake, Koushi grabs the marker and starts writing on the whiteboard to debrief today’s lesson.

 

The first and last reminder on the agenda: Don’t say weird things!

 

 

 

 

 

The days fade in and out and it all becomes normal. Koushi stops thinking about sending him away. Tooru even manages to score a job at the local convenience store. Koushi had seen the frivolous work it took to secure it. He disapproves of the behaviour but it earned Tooru a job and an income so he can’t really complain. Now, Tooru helps out with the living expenses and is on his way to developing an identity. It’s a good path to go on if he wishes to be independent of Koushi.

 

Koushi is happy for him. It means that his time can be divide evenly again between friends, work and his studies. In exchange for that, Tooru makes Koushi promise that they would meet at the end of his shifts. Developing a routine will be good for Tooru, so Koushi agrees without bargaining for anything else. Going the same way, Asahi keeps him company on the walk to the store. They converse casually and Koushi updates his friend on the newest details of his life. Realising that they will be meeting Tooru, Asahi offers to wait so that he can greet Tooru properly this time.

 

However, when Tooru exits, girls flock the store, inside and out. Their presence is followed by squealing and a demand for attention. Asahi looks horrified and all Koushi can do is laugh. Tooru is probably as horrified as Asahi is. He’s still having trouble understanding these kinds of interactions. Asking Koushi to pick him up is an excuse.

 

“Are you sure this is alright, Suga?” Asahi’s hands wave around frantically, in between distaste and panic. “He’s… your boyfriend isn’t he?”

 

“Hm?” Koushi laughs. His friends are still under the impression that they’re an item. He hasn’t bothered correcting them because watching Daichi try and scare Tooru into some form of obedience is fun. “Well, I can’t be there for him all the time.”

 

“What?” Asahi gives him a look; brows knotted together and worry line evident. “Suga…”

 

“Koushi!” Tooru yells, weaving his way through the crowd. Once he’s free of the crowd, he sprints. “Koushi!”

 

“Oh,” Asahi squeaks, taking slow steps to retreat. “You’re not worried because he’ll come back to you.”

 

“I missed you!” Tooru throws forward, flinging his arms out to loop them around Koushi tightly. Koushi’s vision blacks out and there’s no room for him to breathe, let alone move. Why is Tooru taller than him? “You’re so warm!”

 

“I think I’ll go now…” Asahi mumbles. “See you tomorrow, Suga.”

 

Koushi doesn’t even manage to wave goodbye because Tooru has his arms under arrest.

 

 

 

 

 

Daichi enters the room without knocking and Koushi lets him be. They’ve always been like that. He continues working on his paper and gives Daichi the freedom to roam about to find the documents he needs. However, he doesn’t hear Daichi’s steps advance. Finishing up the sentence, Koushi looks up from the screen, to ask what the problem is only to find his best friend staring at Tooru and the bento box spread out on the table. Koushi scowls. He knows what’s coming but it’ll be fine if Daichi doesn’t say anything.

 

“You eat his cooking?” Daichi asks.

 

Koushi’s brows twitch. They can still leave it here.

 

“Yeah,” Tooru looks up, spoon still in his mouth, “Why?”

 

Daichi steps back, shuddering. Koushi shoots him a glare. “I’m not a bad cook.”

 

“But you _experiment_ ,” Daichi frowns. “ _Badly_.”

 

Koushi knows that disgusted expression. Daichi is recounting all the times he’d mixed weird sauces together and tweaked the recipe. It hadn’t been the best but it still turned out okay! Tooru pays them no mind and continues digging in, which has Daichi’s face contorting into distaste.

 

“Well, if he’s willing to be your guinea pig, then keep him.”

 

“I—”

 

Tooru glares, “I’m not a pig.”

 

Daichi shrugs, missing Tooru’s lack of understanding. It’s always the same between them. In less than thirty seconds, they’re glaring at each other again. Daichi looks more intimidating because Tooru has rice stuck on the corners of his mouth and his cheeks are full. Although it has mellowed, they still have an underlying animosity. Koushi doesn’t quite understand it but where’s Asahi to stand between them when he needs it?

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t keep him then.”

 

“He already is,” Tooru spits out. “In his _house_ , in his _bed_.”

 

Koushi groans in silence. Tooru’s learnt to pick up the stresses and that’s a great accomplishment. He’ll understand sarcasm and be able to return it but how come he failed to pick up on context along with it? Does he not read that atmosphere or is he ignoring it on purpose?

 

“Too much information,” Daichi exclaims, slamming his hand on Koushi’s table and narrowing his eyes. _He moved in?_

 

Koushi averts his gaze and keeps his mouth shut. All misunderstandings be damned, he’s not going to dignify Tooru’s smirk with an answer.

 

 

 

 

 

The sun filters through the curtains as a morning call. Koushi gets up, but only to pull the thicker layer close. Having gotten used to Tooru being curled up against him, Koushi decides to make it a lazy morning. He pulls the blanket and throws it over Tooru’s lower half and snuggles a little bit closer. It’s gotten a bit chilly as of late and Tooru’s heat is comforting. Koushi nuzzles against Tooru and closes his eyes for a short nap. He won’t tell Tooru that he’s become a source of comfort. Tooru doesn’t have to know. All Koushi has to do is get up again before Tooru does.

 

He doesn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

It feels like a short time but the things that Tooru had a hard time comprehending are all eventually conquered. Koushi doesn’t trust him enough to set the alarm again but Tooru can handle himself pretty much everywhere else so Koushi doesn’t worry too much when he has to leave Tooru alone. Tooru no longer looks to Koushi for help when dealing with the mass of fans that he has gathered. It had been both reassuring and a bit disheartening at once but now, Koushi can find some entertainment in it. Asashi may have been right.

 

Tooru is surrounded by his fans again. Koushi watches in amusement. This time, they’re students from his university rather than fans that flock the convenience store. There is no longer a need for Koushi to intervene. Tooru has learnt how to hold his own. Tooru smiles at all of them in that charming way that he has learnt has them all swooning. He answers the call of ‘Tooru-kun’ with an infallible smile. His grin is wide, corner of his lips curling to mimic that of Chesire’s but he hides the light in his eyes and saves it for Koushi alone.

 

When his lifts his head to look at Koushi through the crowd, his eyes sparkle. The smile that follows is a little bit strained but it is to be expected. He’s been quiet worn out these days. Still, Tooru excuses himself politely and takes the necessary steps towards Koushi. Once Koushi is within his reach, he tugs at Koushi’s sleeve like he always does to draw his attention. When Koushi gives it, Tooru brightly briefs him on his day. Koushi nods to his words and answers his questions with ease.

 

“What did you do today, Koushi?” Tooru asks in return.

 

Tooru grabs a few of the books in Koushi’s hand to lighten the load. That’s only after he finishes speaking because Tooru needs his hands for the big gestures that he utilises when he’s telling a story. Koushi begins a narration, adding a bit of salt and pepper here and there to make things interesting. That’s the only way to keep Tooru’s attention. With every juicy bit of information that he provides, Tooru leans a little bit closer, nudging into his space until their shoulders are brushing as they walk. The heat is comfortable and Koushi wouldn’t have it any other day.

 

 

 

 

 

However, time shows that it’s not only has his smile been strained. Tooru’s overall behaviour has been weird. He’s sleeping a lot more and his energy is often low. Koushi hasn’t managed to catch every little detail but he does make an effort to start a conversation when he has time on his hands. Three years of being the mediator in his volleyball team had given him enough knowledge to know when a relationship will tip. A conversation is necessary and he tries.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Koushi is tired himself, but he attempts to cheer Tooru up. Everything is heavy as of late. Koushi’s workload has increased and there are also the demands of his education piling up. He doesn’t have enough time but has a feeling that that’s exactly what Tooru wants.

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t seem okay.” Koushi states and places a hand on Tooru’s forehead to check his temperature. “Are you getting sick?”

 

Tooru pulls away with a start, eyes suddenly sharp. “I can’t always be cheery, right? You’re not.”

 

“I’m not a star, Tooru,” Koushi reasons. “I’m can’t be bright like you.”

 

It’s a compliment. It’s Koushi’s heart. It’s his concern. Tooru’s light has always seemed to be unending. There have been moments where he had looked lost and confused but he’s always managed to regain his composure. He’s always smiling and Koushi has learnt the difference, but there hasn’t been much of a drift. The dim light on display now, worries Koushi. It’s difficult. They haven’t clashed before so he’s not sure what the best course of option is. How does Tooru handle a breakdown? How does Koushi handle a breakdown that concerns Tooru?

 

“I thought you didn’t believe me.”

 

“I do,” Koushi replies. “I have, for a while now.”

 

“Yeah,” Tooru raises his voice, “Only when it suits you!”

 

Before he can reply, Tooru gets up from the couch and storms away. Seconds later, the bedroom door slams shut. Koushi jumps with a start and is left stunned. Tooru doesn’t throw a tantrum. The bedroom is quiet which is odd. Tooru is never quiet. Concerned, he gets up and walks to the door and back three times but can’t find it in him to knock. Maybe Tooru needs the space. He should be glad that Tooru isn’t sobbing.

 

Sighing, he goes back to the living room and he finishes off his work for the day. When he finishes, it’s late and Koushi moves automatically to complete his night routine. Now that several hours have passed, Koushi hopes that Tooru is calm enough to talk. He stands at the door and makes an apology but there is no answer. The lack of a reply puts him on spot. Koushi can’t let himself in even though there isn’t a lock so he ends up sleeping on the couch. When he wakes, Tooru is still in the room. Unable to push the boundaries, Koushi makes breakfast and leaves another note before running off to class.

 

Koushi returns and find breakfast untouched. Lunch is also still in the fridge. Worried, he opens the door and peeks into the room. Tooru is curled up on the bed like he hasn’t moved at all. Concerned, Koushi slips through with an apology on his lips for invading Tooru’s space when he needs it. He kneels down by the bed and reaches out for Tooru’s forehead again. Even before contact, Koushi can feel the heat radiating. The moment that he touches, Koushi determines it a fever and gets moving immediately.

 

Koushi doesn’t get sick very often but he has the supplies at hand. His first stop is the bathroom, where he grabs the towel and soaks it. He returns to the bedroom and settles the wet towel onto Tooru’s forehead. Koushi fixes the pillows and pulls the blanket up to make sure that Tooru is comfortable. His cheeks are still pink and his breathing a little uneven, but some proper food and medicine should fix the problem. Koushi gets up again to find the medication. He leaves the door ajar just in case Tooru calls.

 

As soon as he finds it, Koushi sets it on the counter with a cup of water. Tooru can take it when he’s awake. But for now, Koushi takes on an extra task and looks around for ingredients to make congee. It ends up being leek congee, which his grandmother had often said would relieve a fever straight away. Once done, he makes sure to turn off the flame so that they don’t have another accident. He returns to their bedroom with the cup of water and pills. Koushi puts it on the nightstand and settles by the bedside. He is quiet as he calls Ennoshita cancel their meeting in the afternoon.

 

Koushi stays on watch for the night. Tooru twists and turns but he doesn’t wake. The congee goes cold. When Tooru does open his eyes, it’s brief. Koushi only manages to get him to take the medication with some water. Shortly after, he falls asleep again with his grip on Koushi’s hand. Throughout the night, he stirs restlessly. Koushi stays awake and replaces the wet towel when he goes dry and presses at his worry line every time it shows. Eventually, Tooru’s breathing evens out and the heat lowers. Nearing morning, Tooru jerks, pulling Koushi’s hand and causing him to jump.

 

“Tooru?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Tooru mumbles, clinging onto his arm. His eyes are squeezed shut but the tears overflow. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry too,” Koushi whispers, learning forward and kissing Tooru’s forehead to sooth his nightmare, “For not being considerate enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

After their little mishap, Koushi has tried to be more aware of Tooru’s inner state. Everything falls back into place after that but Koushi makes sure to remind himself that Tooru is not human. There are many things that he isn’t used to and those rapid changes affect him in a negative way. Paying attention to Tooru pays off. It works in his favour because everyone his happy. His friends are happy and so is Ennoshita, the junior who has been helping out with his research project. Like his friends, Ennoshita doesn’t miss the chance to tell him so. He says the exact same things, only without Noya’s vigour and Tanaka’s intensity.

 

“You look better these days.”

 

“Yeah,” Koushi admits. “But… something still doesn’t feel quite right.”

 

He’s been thinking about it a lot but there isn’t anything plausible that comes to mind. Tooru had always been insistent on his identity as a star and Koushi had always let it slide. Maybe that wasn’t the best choice.

 

“Aren’t you being a little paranoid, Suga-san?”

 

Koushi stops writing and considers this, but his thoughts go nowhere. The question has been on repeat for weeks. Why was Tooru apologising so much in his sleep?

 

“Perhaps.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing much changes in the coming weeks. The progress that they can make seems to have stopped. In contrast, Tooru’s joy diminishes and he falls into the same pattern of quiet and restlessness. It’s feels like a repetitive streak that Koushi will never have a solution to, no matter how hard he tries. Tooru’s avoidance doesn’t make it any easier. Instead, Tooru insists on a front that is hard to see through unless Koushi pries it out of him. Today, his guard is low as is his energy. It’s barely lunch but Tooru looks like he’s going to nod off again. Koushi begins interrogation with a feel of his forehead.

 

“What is it?”

 

His temperature is normal.

 

“What’s your name?” Koushi replies, smiling.

 

Tooru laughs, as if Koushi’s being silly. “Tooru.”

 

Despite the exhaustion, his eyes are clear and shiny. There’s no twitch in his features and he doesn’t tremble at the question. That’s the control question. Koushi smiles and squeezes Tooru’s hand. The next one is easy. There’s no way Tooru doesn’t know. The problem is on whether or not he deems Koushi trustworthy enough.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“Because you want me to be,” Tooru grins, “Because you like me.”

 

_Because I want to be. Because I like you._

 

This too, is the truth, but not the whole truth. Tooru had read the question wrong on purpose.

 

“Tooru,” Koushi presses, lips pulled thin.

 

He feigns innocence, “What?”

 

“Tell me why you’re here,” Koushi requests. “Tell me the truth.”

 

Tooru pulls his hands away fiddles with his thumbs. The same look of uncertainty washes over his face. He squirms in his seat and it reminds Koushi of the first time he had asked the question. Back then it had been avoidance out of distrust. Koushi wasn’t the only one in danger. If Koushi didn’t know who Tooru was and feared him, then the same could be said about Koushi for Tooru. He had been careful back then, but now—

 

“I don’t know.”

 

This time he’s lying and Koushi’s afraid of the truth so he doesn’t chase the answer.

 

 

 

 

 

When Koushi exits the classroom, he isn’t surprised to find Tooru waiting. As of late Tooru has taken on fewer shifts at the convenience store. The time that he’s earned from that has been invested in Koushi instead. It’s a nice change and it feels like they’re going back to the beginning. His office hours are officially over, so he doesn’t mind the students that are making their exit. All Koushi has to do is confirm something about the final part of the paper, so he flashes Tooru a shy smile to ask for a moment. Tooru walks straight into him and rests his head against Koushi’s shoulder but he’s not being a hindrance so Koushi doesn’t pull away. Instead,he accommodates Tooru’s needs and lifts the paper above Tooru’s head to scan through it. Tooru takes the chance and snakes his arms around Koushi’s waist, claiming.

 

The students file out one after another, saying farewell and wishing Koushi a good weekend. He returns their gestures with a smile but stays comfortable within Tooru’s arms. Koushi doesn’t mind his students watching. They’re all the sweet kind and so he doesn’t have to worry. It’s not like Tooru is a secret. Everyone has come to know of his existence and his importance. It has been a while since Tooru had last clung onto him like this so he will not pass up on his opportunity.

 

“Koushi,” Tooru murmurs, voice muffled because his mouth is pressed against the skin of Koushi’s neck. Koushi hums in response, still trying to figure out the last sentence. “Your students are glaring at me.”

 

Koushi bursts out laughing. “Don’t be silly.”

 

Tooru squeezes tight and almost deprives Koushi of all the air in his lungs, “They _are_.”

 

Insistent. He decides to entertain Tooru and looks back. There are only a few lingering students left. They are the ones that had asked questions after he had dismissed the class and if anything, they’re _smiling_. What on earth is Tooru on about? Oh, but if he’s talking about Kageyama then that’s another story. The boy is always scowling but that doesn’t mean he’s upset or angry. It’s the way his face is structured and if he were smiling, Tooru might mistake it because even Koushi had had a hard time figuring that one out. Or maybe it’s Kyoutani, who doesn’t seem to like Tooru at all.

 

“Have a good weekend!” Koushi exclaims as they pass through.

 

Kageyama nods, stiffly. Kyoutani grunts. For some reason, the two of them haven’t made any extra effort to get along with Tooru.

 

“We’re going to Tsukishima-kun’s study group!” Yachi informs Koushi and tugs at Kageyama’s bag, who then gives Kyoutani a look. She’s good at sensing trouble. “Have a good weekend, Suga-san!”

 

“Ah, good luck,” Koushi nods. He trusts that Tsukishima and Yachi will be fine, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. “If there’s anything you still don’t understand, don’t hesitate to email me, okay?”

 

They nod in unison and speed walk away. It looks like they’ll be meeting up with Hinata and Yamaguchi as well. Looking at them puts a smile onto his face. They’re still young. Sometimes, he wishes that he could go back a few years to redo a number of things in his life. There are many things he will tell his younger self, but Koushi thinks he can settle with the things that he has now. After all, there’s Tooru right here, hugging him and filling him with warmth.

 

“Hey,” Tooru whispers against Koushi’s skin, squeezing hard. Koushi hums in response, rests his cheek against Tooru’s soft brown locks. “I love you.”

 

Koushi stiffens. He hadn’t expected that and so he doesn’t have a reply. Possibly because his reaction is slow, Tooru’s grip loosens. Unable to allow the warmth to draw away, Koushi lowers his arms squeezes back, without concern for the paper in his hands. At that, Tooru sighs against him and repeats his words but doesn’t ask for Koushi to return his feelings. No matter how many times Tooru says it Koushi can’t find it in him to say it back.

 

“The girls following me keep talking about going on dates, Koushi,” Tooru whispers. “What’s a date?”

 

 _Ah_ , Koushi thinks, _we haven’t covered this before_.

 

“Well, it’s when to people who like each other go out and do something together,” Koushi explains with a pause before he continues, “We do that a lot.”

 

“Oh,” Tooru mumbles, “Let’s go on a date, Koushi.”

 

He kisses the top of Tooru’s head, apologetic. “Okay. Let’s go on a date.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Are you not going to sleep?”

 

Tooru doesn’t reply. Night has fallen and it’s another one of those where Tooru is still wide awake, despite the bags under his eyes. He sits by their window and looks out at the night sky, longingly. Koushi sighs as he brings a cup of tea over. He sets it down before Tooru and tells him to warm his body. It’s only then that Tooru pays him any attention.

 

“I’m communicating with a friend,” Tooru informs, smiling.

 

Koushi stops short, eyes dilated, “You can do that?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

There’s a whole lot that Koushi can say in response. _Why didn’t you tell me? How come you haven’t asked them to help you get home? Are you going somewhere?_ But none of that falls off his tongue. There isn’t a need for him to throw the idea out there. Tooru’s departure is no longer something that he wants.

 

“Don’t stay up too late.”

 

Tooru turns his head and blinks with a confused look in his eyes, like he can’t believe that’s the _only_ thing Koushi had said. Koushi meet his gaze evenly, encouraging him to say what’s on his mind but Tooru just shakes his head with an _okay_ on his lips. Unable to push, Koushi nods and places a kiss on Tooru’s forehead before retreating to the bedroom. Tooru probably needs his space. And Koushi might be running away.

 

However, he doesn’t have any resolve in that either. Koushi doesn’t manage a wink of sleep with the bed empty. No matter how much he tosses and turns, sleep doesn’t come. He hates to admit it but he knows the reason why. The bed feels empty without Tooru. It’s cold without him and Koushi doesn’t feel safe enough to feel asleep in a space so big. He lasts two hours before he’s up and out the door. He calls for Tooru but there’s no answer. Turning on the dim lap, he finds Tooru asleep over the windowpane.

 

“How can you fall asleep there?” Koushi sighs.

 

It’s not the first time. Nothing has changed despite Koushi’s reprimand. Tooru fights him by claiming that he hasn’t gotten sick since. All Koushi manages when he finds Tooru like this is a sigh as he reaches out and closes the window. Pulling Tooru into his embrace, Koushi carries him princess style and turns off the lamp on his way inside. He pushes the door open with his foot and puts Tooru to bed, pulling the blanket over to secure his warmth. After he shuts the door he returns and joins Tooru on their bed.

 

Unable to fall asleep straight away, Koushi runs his fingers through Tooru’s hair, recounting the memories that they’ve created. He still finds it fascinating that Tooru is as light as he had been the first time. He’s grown a lot of the last few months and picked up a good diet but most of the things that Koushi had first discovered about him remain consistent. These days, his sleeping patterns are a bit of a concern. Tooru has never been much of a deep sleeper. Now however, even if Koushi’s loud, he’ll sleep like the dead. It’s unsettling but he can’t ask the questions directly.

 

“What are you not telling me?”

 

Tooru doesn’t answer.

 

 

 

 

 

Two weeks later, Tooru wakes with a start and in his drowsy state of sleep said, _I have something to tell you_ , almost as if he had heard Koushi’s plea, only late. Koushi asks him what and the only reply was _not yet._

 

 

 

 

 

Koushi spends the rest of his days on edge after that. Tooru goes about as usual. The only change is work load. He cuts down on it even more and starts to monopolise all of Koushi’s spare time. Koushi complies wherever possible. They’re a bit more financially strained but Koushi doesn’t make any comments on it. He’s worried about Tooru’s mental state of being and health so he decides to make use of their time together to monitor his condition. Bitter thoughts flickers every now and then on the back of his mind but Koushi chooses to ignore it. If he continues to ponder of things he doesn’t know, he’ll break.

 

“Wake me up when you’re done, okay?”

 

Koushi looks up from the screen and nods, “Yeah.”

 

Tooru curls into himself and takes a nap on the sofa. They’re back where they began. Koushi needs to finish another paper and he had told Tooru to go home, but Tooru had insisted in staying. It’s nothing unusual, but Koushi feels unsettled by Tooru’s strong insistence. Instead of working at his top speed Koushi slows his pace. At the end of the night, Koushi turns prints out his paper and turns off the computer but delays his promise to wake Tooru.

 

When there’s thirty minutes to submit it so Koushi takes the paper to level nine and submits it. Koushi walks the way and walks the way down, buying all the time that he can get. However, when he returns to the room, Tooru is stirring awake. Before he can backtrack, Tooru catches him and waves a hand. The sleepy look suits him, even more so when rubs his eyes to wake and then gives Koushi that vibrant smile.

 

“Tooru,” Koushi calls, “Should we go home?”

 

“Koushi.” Tooru pulls upright. He shakes his head and shuffles to the other corner of the couch and makes space. He reaches out and tugs at Koushi’s sleeve. Once he’s got a hold of it, he pulls Koushi forward and presses their forehead together. He looks tired but he repeats Koushi’s name over and over with the same tenderness that hasn’t changed since he first tasted it on his tongue. “Koushi.”

 

“Hm?” Koushi hums, gliding his fingers through Tooru’s hair. “What is it?”

 

“I said that there was something I had to tell you, right?” Koushi shuts his eyes once more and squeezes them tight. He’s afraid and it’s nothing new. This feeling hasn’t gone away for weeks, whether or not Tooru is by his side. “I have to go.”

 

“That joke’s not funny.” Koushi deadpans, keeping his expression levelled.

 

“I’m not joking,” Tooru’s response is flat and lifeless. “I’m not.”

 

Tooru caresses Koushi’s cheeks and lifts his face up so that their eyes are locked. The contact had been brief because of Koushi’s protest, but there only truth in Tooru’s gaze. Those sparkling eyes are tired and dim. Like last time, Koushi finds himself in the position to deny. Pulling away from Tooru’s embrace, Koushi creates a distance between them and puts up a shield. He has to be okay.

 

“Ah,” Koushi scoffs, “I knew it.”

 

Tooru tilts his head, confused.

 

“Are you going home? Finally?” Koushi continues, trying for strong despite his shaking. “Sick of the runaway life? Sick of me?”

 

Koushi’s thought processes have gone awry. It’s not as if he’s forgotten that Tooru is a star. If he reasons it this way, there will be a way for it all to come back. Tooru replies with silence. He waits for Koushi to blow up. Koushi has the words, his protest and his anger but all of it is clogged up in his chest. Tooru’s changes in behaviour had been a sign. He had worried but he couldn’t pursue it. He still can’t.

 

“Koushi,” Tooru demands attention. He draws closer and cups Koushi’s face between his palms. His eyes are watery and his lips tremble. Koushi’s expression is a mirror of his. They cannot stop the tears. “It’s not…”

 

Koushi topples forward and breaks, sobbing without any sense of control. Tooru inhales and exhales as an example and tells Koushi to repeat. Koushi finds it ironic that Tooru is the one teaching him this time around. Is this a farewell present? Is it meant to be the thing that will get Koushi through without him?

 

“What is it then?” Koushi replies, trembling.

 

“Koushi,” Tooru calls his name gently, as if it will sooth the ache, “I’m already dead.”

 

“I told you the joke’s not funny,” Koushi spits out.

 

“I have been for a while now,” Tooru reiterates, “You asked me why I was here.”

 

Tooru waits for Koushi to nod, makes sure he understands before he continues.

 

“I couldn’t answer you because there isn’t a reason for me to be here.”

 

“You’re the star in my life,” Koushi replies, throwing Tooru’s words right back at him. His reasons are right here. “I’ll keep you in my house so stay and fight my friends for me; stay so you can be there for my students glare at.”

 

He’s honoured but he cannot take any of those offers. What’s impossible is impossible.

 

“Treat me like a dream,” Tooru says, shy lips pressed against Koushi’s cheek. Koushi looks up to meet his eyes and ends up scoffing in disbelief. He’s not really— “You know, because I’m fabulous but you can’t have me.”

 

Koushi glares at Tooru through his tears, “You’re horrible.”

 

“If you think about it like that, it’ll pass,” Tooru reasons. “Let me go.”

 

“You make it sound so easy.”

 

“Sorry,” Tooru says, voice quiet. He leans forward and kisses the bridge of Koushi’s nose. Every regret and guilt is evident in his trembling. He should have been honest from the beginning. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t go,” Koushi whispers. Tears stain both of their cheeks and only now, is he able to say it, but even then, he chokes on his confession. “I love you.”

 

Tooru kisses him again, forehead, eyes, nose and lips. Each contact is brief, followed by an apology that fades out until there’s nothing left. Koushi keeps his eyes close and his head lowered. He’s afraid to open his them but the pressure only causes more tear drops to fall. His hands are at a standstill and he cannot bring himself to look because he can already feel it. There’s only air between his fingertips. As a result of Tooru’s disapperance, the room returns to what it used to be. The colours of the wall dim down with his shine and without Tooru’s presence it is cold. Koushi’s name doesn’t echo in the room. Nothing is consistent, give for the window that Koushi had fixed. Only the window remains, ajar just like the way it had been when he’d fallen asleep that day.

 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has followed my contribution to the Oikawa/Sugawara Week 2015. I couldn't have done it without your support. I apologise for any remaining errors as I lack time management and ended up writing these days during the week.
> 
> Thank you to [Paltita](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Paltita) for being wonderful and encouraging my work even though I lack confidence.
> 
> Also a big thank you to the mod, [togekissies](http://archiveofourown.org/users/togekissies) for organising the week and being absolutely awesome throughout. A big shout out to everyone who participated in the week! You guys are awesome and we have given this ship a lot of love.


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